40 to 40

I've always been a believer in celebrating birthdays BIG. I'm going to attribute this to my mom, who managed to always make us feel special and loved on our special day each year. Whether it was saying yes to a sleepover turned midnight makeover, renting the skating rink for a Rainbow Brite themed blowout or a surprise Sweet 16 (complete with a car with a GIANT BOW on top) - she and my dad made us feel loved.

Basically poor Ryan inherited a spoiled rotten person. But I digress.

Sunday marked 40 days until my 40th birthday. I've been count downing on my phone, looking forward to the milestone and trying to decide how I wanted to celebrate the big day.

Turns out... I get to celebrate for the next FORTY days.

Ryan, Cindy and Jenni have crafted the most amazing (and overwhelmingly humbling) birthday gift of my life. Each day, for the next 40 days someone from my life is going to wish me happy birthday.

I can't get over it. I'm sitting here in Blue Baker crying as I type this.

I don't drive a fancy car.
The floor in my house is being held together with wood glue.
I can't use my shower.
I've never been to Europe.
I don't have a giant savings account filled with the moneys.

But, without a doubt... I am loved. And I am so completely grateful for every person that God has placed in my life. Every hard part, every easy friendship. Every tiny moment has been carefully crafted just for me. Just like every part of your life has been carefully crafted for YOU.

Parts of my life are absolutely nothing like I imagined... but everything I could ever dream.

This aging thing, y'all... I just can't describe the freedom you feel. I quit apologizing. I take time for myself. I listen before I speak. I am zero percent impressed with material things. I love the reflection in the mirror... but more importantly, that pistol of a woman inside... man, she's pretty cool, too.

So here is to the next 40 days of celebrating every gift that has entered my life. I treasure these people, these memories, these divine miracles that crossed my path. Each of them have helped shape me into the wife, mom, daughter, sister, friend... the list goes on. I am who I am because each of you and that is the greatest gift by far.

By 40...

So I celebrated my birthday two months ago but honestly, my mind has been on my NEXT birthday for much longer than that. I celebrate the big 4-0 next February and I'm pretty excited about hitting a milestone.

20 years ago, 40 seemed like forever away.
15 years ago, I thought I was a "real" adult.
10 years ago, I couldn't believe I was in the middle of 20 and 40.
5 years ago, I decided that this 30 something life wasn't so bad.

And now, I'm convinced that 40 is going to be even better.

When my dad turned 40 the entire JCPenney office was adorned in black. The "ladies at work" pulled out all their tricks of in-store marketing and displayed tombstones, black balloons and an infinite amount of "over the hill" signs.

He did not take that well.

When my mom turned 40 we went to dinner but I don't remember any major hoopla. Perhaps it's because we were trying to be kind and pretend that she was still young (which she clearly was, but I was 11 so I didn't get that). Perhaps it was because she didn't want a huge celebration. Or perhaps it's because she's a mom and sometimes we get looked over. (LOVE YOU, MOMMA!)

When Jody turned 40 we surprised him by flying him to Texas for Thanksgiving.
When Jeremy turned 40 he wanted to ignore it because he doesn't like attention or getting older.

Ryan turns 40 in May and I'm not going to tell you what we have planned.

And soon... y'all... I AM GOING TO BE FORTY!

My friends have celebrated 40 in tons of different ways and I'm looking forward to this "road to 40" journey that the next 10 months will take me on. I've made a list of 40 things I'd like to do in this year and I've gotten a pretty good start. I'll share my thoughts from time to time and hope that you enjoy coming along on the ride with me.

Some items are silly.
Some items are hard.
Some items will require courage.
Some items will require time.

And I'm honestly excited about what I will discover through the process. I thought about sharing the entire list but I think I'm going to keep it to myself for a while. I do plan on journaling along the way and some of that will be included on the blog.

So to all of my friends that have done something similar - anything I should think about? What would you put on your list? What would you leave off your list?

Here's to the journey...not the destination....