Happy birthday, Momma

 Hey, Momma!

Happy birthday! 

We love celebrating you - I mean, there is nothing easier in the world that celebrating a loving, caring, giving, selfless person like you. And you know what else you are? 

Strong.
Brilliant.
Beautiful.
Supportive.

I know this birthday is going to be hard. I know the next 20 birthdays are going to be hard. But I also know that YOU are worth celebrating big. Even if it feels and looks different than any birthday you've had for the past 55 years with Dad. He wants us to celebrate you because he was so proud to be yours. He was so grateful to be loved by you. And we are, too. This year even more so. 

You've amazed me for my entire life. You're patient with all of us. You're funny when you get mad. (ok, so maybe we just laugh at you when you're mad).  You are fiercely loyal and protective (just ask any sports referee). You want things to be fair. You want us to feel valued. You want us to be happy. You don't love it when any of us are mad or sad or generally inconvenienced (which is why you insist on skipping yourself in a game of Uno). 

You've taught me the art of opening up my home to whoever needs a place to feel welcomed. I recognize the importance of "the more the merrier" and always cook more than I need to just in case. I never feel guilty about ordering the ice cream. I've made it my goal to make sure my home is as inviting and welcoming as the one you raised us all in (including our friends). My fridge is stocked with soda. My pantry has sugary cereal and my snacks are always ready for as many hands that need one. ( I do draw the line at going to 4 different fast food restaurants but occasionally will call an audible and celebrate a "Gigi night"). 

I'm as hard on my kids' friends as I am on them because I love them like my own. 

I cuss a little.  

I prefer jeans and leggings to fancy dresses. 

I wear hardly any makeup. 

I prefer baths to showers any day of the week. 

I love a good pedicure. 

I used reusable bags before they were cool. 

Bread is my bestie. 

A target run with my best-friend can solve any problem. 

I think Jesus is pretty cool but his followers annoy the heck out of me from time to time. 

Basically, I'm you.

All that I am, all that I hope to be, rests in the example you set for me. 

You are a leader in every sense of the word. You have modeled the way for Jody, Jeremy and each of ours to grieve but keep going. To keep Christ at our core. To cry when we need to but to celebrate, too. To find joy within our own sorrow. 

And we do. We will. Always.

We are so glad YOU were born and we take this day and all the days ahead being grateful for the gift of you as our momma. 

I love you, Mom. 

Happy happy birthday!!

Daddy Greg Honey

It's been one month since our world changed. 
One month of catching my breath when I remember he's gone. 
One month of silent tears at the most random times. 
One month of thinking of life as before and after. 
One month of the rest of our lives that will look different. 

26. That's the number of days between diagnosis and losing him. Such a jarring number to think of in those terms. But y'all... in those 26 days I experienced more love than some people get in a lifetime. I was witness to Mom living her vows out loud, just like she did every day, but in a way that was so beautiful and comforting to us. 

I could share more about those days, and maybe one day I will. But today, I want to share about Daddy Greg Honey (a name he got from Jody when he was little). 

To begin with - my dad has seen the face of God. 

Isn’t that amazing?! 

That could be the total of my words today. That is more than enough to say - he lived and loved and lead a life that allowed him to leave this earth and see the face of God. Amen indeed. 

But because I am who I am and he was who he was, you’re getting more than that from me. 

As I prepped to share these words at his service, I began to make a list of things I wanted people to know about Dad. Seems like a pretty impossible task… there is just too much for me to put into words. 

But as I reflected on the 43 years that I got to spend with him, a few things come to mind. 

He valued community. 

Mom and Dad moved to Texas when she was pregnant with me and I think they were like a major popular new couple in town. My earliest childhood memories are filled with the little league fields, small groups at our home, and days at the swimming pool. With Dad in the center of it all - coaching teams, hosting kids, or letting us all pile on top of him. He was up for fun and never too old or too cool to be with us and our friends. He and mom taught us how to build a village that sustains us. 

He was a good little Italian. 

One of my favorite stories about Dad is when they first moved to Waco and began attending this church, he looked through the directory and found the first “Italian name” in the directory - Ben Leonido. He called up Mr. Ben and let him know they were new Italians in town and asked if he wanted to meet at the back of the church after mass. Mr. Ben of course said yes. Well, after mass that week Dad went to the back of the church and looked all around for his new Italian friend. And then Mr. Ben showed up - a short Filipino man outstretched his hand, introduced himself to Dad and they were instantly best friends. 

He hated being late. 

Bless his heart between his mom, my mom, and sometimes me he was hardly on time. 

He was incredibly patient. (See above). Whether he was teaching my brothers how to play tennis, mow the yard, tie a tie, or change a tire - he would keep doing it as long as it took not just until they got “it” right… but until they felt confident in themselves. He did the same for me, too. 

He called me Princess. 

But he never made me feel too precious to get dirty or try new things or hang with the boys. He made sure I knew I was capable of whatever I wanted to do or accomplish while also making me feel cherished. 

He hardly ever lost his temper.

Seriously … and we know how to push buttons in our house… but I don’t remember him ANGRY very often. We were disciplined for sure, but not with anger. And you would know when he was angry because he’d get a little bit of spit on his bottom lip - and that’s when we got scared. I only saw it twice. Once when I didn’t want to do my homework in the 4th grade and once when I was in college and Jeremy and I spent money on the credit card for some “home improvements” (which Dad knew was just an excuse to throw a party). And there was also that one time Jody drove to Baton Rouge in the middle of the night, but I’ll let him tell you that one. 

He loved Elvis and LSU. 

A lot. He did this funny little dance any time Elvis came on and he loved letting me know that my Aggies were sadly never going to be as good as his Tigers. It only took us several years and 7 overtimes to finally beat them. One day when we were driving into Baton Rouge going over the bridge to our exit, Radley looked over to where the LSU campus is and said, “Pops… I made a decision. I’m going to LSU… And for a split second, my Dad was on cloud nine. and Radley finished by saying, “and then I’m going to a REAL college.”

 

He loved to shop. 

And he was good at it. I loved going shopping with Dad… he wouldn’t just tell me I looked great in something, he knew which colors looked good on me, which cut of a dress I should buy, and which brands would last. And that’s when mom would come in and just say “buy it” - a great dynamic duo. 

He loved his legs. 

Give that man a pair of short shorts and tennis racket and watch out. 

He wanted us to be OUR best more than be THE best. 

A lesson that has stayed with each of us, I think, and something we have hopefully passed on to our kids. Being YOUR best each day, being kind, and doing what’s right above all else is a lesson I am grateful to have learned. 

He took pride in his work.

I loved visiting him at JCPenney - he was just so good at his job. He knew everything there was to know about every corner of that store. I would watch in awe as he solved problems, made sales, and served customers. Customer service has been ingrained into our lives and I’ve taken the example he has set for us and used it in my own work and I know Jody and Jeremy have as well. It’s a lesson that goes well beyond our jobs. It has bled into our lives and how we interact with everyone we meet. I often think about what Dad would do in my own job - how would he lead, how would he serve - what should my strategy be. 

He gifted us his time.

I know he didn’t make every tennis match, band performance, basketball game, or cheerleading commitment… but I can’t remember one time he wasn’t there when we needed him. Our kids would say the same thing. 

He could sleep anywhere. Literally. 

He was present with us. 

Always in the moment, not distracted. He listened. He never quit wanting to learn more. We didn’t have to agree with him which was such a gift. He genuinely wanted to hear our OWN beliefs, why we believed them, and where he could learn more about whatever we were talking about. 

He was a family guy. 

Adoring son. Steadfast brother. Loving cousin. I know we all loved visiting Baton Rouge and watch him with his crew of siblings and cousins. You could see how much they all meant to him and how part of him always wanted to stay a little longer. 

He loved his grandkids. 

Something fierce. His whole face lit up when he was around them. As sad as I am to have lost him, I ache the most that those 6 kids (plus his many other adopted grands) lost him so soon. But I am so grateful for every single moment he spent with them. We spent Thanksgiving sharing what about Pops we were thankful for and here’s what they said:

Owen: Life lessons and playing golf

Radley: The little moments they got to spend together, from running to the store to being outside - he got to spend a lot of alone time with Pops

Kailyn - His sense of humor and making it a priority to spend time with them

Emmy - For how well he loved her - she knew it and felt it

Landry - For every second she got to spend with him and he was the best back scratcher

Keirstyn - For being the best hugger

He loved my mom. 

Abundantly. Fiercely. Faithfully. He valued and honored their covenant for 53 years. They spent more of their life together than apart. He worked so hard to build a life she loved and if you ask her today, she’d say it was a job well done. 

I could type all day about things I want you to know about Dad. But here’s all you NEED to know about him... 

He loved Jesus. 

He followed Christ. 

He lead us to Him. 

As we spent our final days with Dad we got to say all the things we wanted to say. We told him how proud we are to be his and how thankful we are for being loved by him. 

And then he shared with us the same. A gift I will forever be grateful for. A gift I want to share with you. 

He told us he wasn’t scared of death. He confidently knew what was next for him. 

And then he said this:

Make your walk with Christ your own. 

Go to church. 

Know God. 

Love God.

Honor God. 

Be proud to be Catholic and be humbled by the miracle of the Eucharist each time you receive the body of Christ. 

So in honor of Dad, that’s what I ask of you today. Celebrate his life by knowing Christ our King gives us eternal life and fulfills His promise to us that we will meet again.

Know that a life that knows God is a life well lived. 

Just like Dad. 

Thank you, Daddy, for that gift and so many others. We are proud to be yours. 

Mercies in disguise...

These lyrics by Laura Story have so much truth that it hurts... 

We pray for blessings

We pray for peace

Comfort for family, protection while we sleep

We pray for healing, for prosperity

We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering

All the while, You hear each spoken need

Yet love is way too much to give us lesser things

'Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops

What if Your healing comes through tears

What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near

What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

What if? 

What if each trial is a means of walking closer to Him? 

That's crazy, right? I mean, how can that be? Isn't God our protector and provider? Isn't He our light and our way? Isn't he our "good good father?"

Yes. He is all of those things but how often do we really cry out to Him when we are grateful and thankful? Beyond the "Dear God, thank you for..." prayers that we say. How often do we weep in gratitude to Him?

Honestly? Almost never do I weep from gratefulness even though I regularly tell my children to "be GRATEFUL DAMNIT!" 

Because, I'm the world's best mom. That's why.

So God can be and is ALL of those things and life can still sometimes suck. He isn't out to get us or deceive us, He's out to strengthen us and is begging us to trust Him. Even when the outcome isn't great. Actually, ESPECIALLY when the outcome isn't great. 

Dad went to the ER a couple of times for what he thought was pains from a hernia. Turns out it wasn't but the doctors weren't satisfied with just telling him nothing was wrong. So they took some scans and found a small mass on his kidney... something unrelated to what his pains indicated. 

God's mercy in disguise. They discovered this tumor because of an unrelated pain. God wanted Dad in that ER so we could face the next trial. 

We have two kidneys, right? Except Dad has only one functioning kidney and the mass was on the good one. Because of course it was. His doctor referred him to a local urologist and Mom sent me a text one afternoon, "appointment with Dr. Stewart on Friday."

Hold the phone.

"Dr. STEWART? That's Tyler's dad!!!"

God's mercy in disguise. 

I know Dr. Stewart. I adore him, actually. He and his wife raised one of the best kids I've had the opportunity to "lead" in my work - even if he was a Lorena Leopard. The Stewart's are amazing, kind, God-fearing people and all of us were able to relax just a little. Because we were in good hands and clearly still in God's hands. 

So Dr. Stewart did some scans and other medical type things and determined that Dad would definitely need surgery to remove the mass. He didn't like the way it looked and wanted it out and while he could do the surgery, he referred Dad to the guy that he would have wanted operating on him. 

The appointment was made, the surgery was scheduled and we all waited. That part sucks. The waiting. But the waiting is just another opportunity to weep in gratitude. We had no idea if the mass was cancerous, we all just wanted it gone. But we all prayed for this procedure that was going to remove part of his only working kidney to work but even more, that his kidney would still function. Dad wants to avoid dialysis at all costs. 

Last week we all made the trek to Dallas. We were the loud, obnoxious, crazy crew in the waiting room for eight hours. We waited and prayed and delighted in the right now. Dad's surgeon emerged and said some stuff and we were still waiting for four words... 

"The kidney is working."

Undisguised mercy. We didn't have to go looking for His gift - He sent it freely in those words. 

Dad's not completely out of the woods. The little kidney that could still needs to keep on keeping on, but his doctor is pleased and that gives us confidence. He still has one cyst that we need to watch but...  we still have him. And will for a long long time. And he has us and most certainly my momma, a woman that was born to take care of others. I honestly don't know how she does it (and that's not an invitation to find out, sweet Jesus) but she manages to keep moving along like that kidney. Working through the good and the bad, cleaning out all the crap and making us all feel good as new. 

His work has never been disguised in her - so thanks, Momma. 

40th Anniversary Surprise...

I can't wait to share this EPIC party with y'all mainly because we hosted this event before I started to blog. So this is some never before seen footage, y'all. 

And the two stars happen to be the best parents around. Waaaaaayyy back in 2009 they were approaching a milestone anniversary and my brothers and our significant others really wanted to commemorate the occasion. I mean, mainly me, but they are all good sports and played along and paid the bills. ;) We have the most adorable outdoor theater in Bryan that made the best venue and created a theme for us that was easy to follow. 

We sent out tickets as invitations (lots of options here), catered in "movie theater food", served drinks and made a 20 minute movie about their love story. We invited friends and family, surprise guests flew in, and my uncle even drove my MaMaw from Baton Rouge. Keeping the secret was the easy part... getting them there was a different story.

We told them that we wanted to take them to dinner to celebrate which was pretty normal. The event wasn't formal, but it also wasn't super casual and we kept dropping hints that maybe my dad should change clothes. He couldn't understand why and we didn't want to press the issue and give anything away. We fixed Mom's hair and make-up and drove to the restaurant. 

And wouldn't you know... Ryan forgot to make the reservation. (The restaurant was in on the surprise... because I think ahead). So, we staged a small little annoyed wife/apologetic husband scene and decided to walk around downtown while we waited for our seats. I started texting people to get into place and we walked up to the theater and pointed at the marquee as everyone yelled "SURPRISE!!!"

I mean, how cute is my mom's big smile??

Men.

;)

Our dear friends made this awesome cake, we had custom popcorn holders (no pics, sorry), hot dogs, nachos, candy and drinks. 

The best part was watching everyone shower them with love.

I mean - can you even with Radley and Ryan?

Owen is now taller than me.

Lifelong neighbors...

tennis friends...

besties...

so many people took time to come celebrate!

The Guercio kids said a few words and toasted the bride and groom...

and then we all enjoyed a movie highlighting their courtship, wedding, early years, middle years and now... we had the best time putting it all together!

The Guercio crew showed up strong...

this was a recreation of another picture...

MaMaw was of course front and center...

and a little throwback to just us 5. 

And of course the Guley Girls!

This is easily the best party I've thrown because so many people wanted to just celebrate a milestone. 

40 years is a long time to spend with one person and they are creeping up on FIFTY soon! Fifty years of saying yes, showing up, doing the hard, celebrating the easy, saying I'm sorry, working together, fighting, praying, loving, learning, through the good, the bad and the in betweens. We aren't promised easy but we do promise forever. Thanks for showing us that, Mom and Dad!

 Italy sound good, Dad? I can help book the flights!

Easter Blessings...

Sometimes you just want to go home - Easter has become that holiday for us. The kids and I headed to Waco on Friday afternoon for a whirlwind tour of the mall, HEB and hanging out at Gigi and Pops. Jenni came over on Saturday to take me to a fabulous flea market while the kids drove Pops and Gigi crazy spent quality time with the grands.  As soon as we got back, we had a request for the first confetti egg fight of the weekend.

A. I'm not sure who told them they could grow up so much. Karli will be TEN in May. TEN. 

B. He is so excited about the 1/2 inch he currently has on her.

C. Frousins are the best kind of relatives.

 We parted ways Saturday at lunch - the girls hit up Schmaltz and Target while the boys played four holes of golf. When we all got settled back at the house, it was time to dye some eggs.

The girls kept throwing their eggs in a cup and then would run off to practice their gymnastics/dare devil skills. They have learned how to climb to the top bar, hang do a flip and then let go. I am equally proud and terrified.

Ghosts of Easters past live in that ziplock baggie.

He hates it when I take random pictures of his face. But I want to remember every tiny detail... like that barely there scar that remains from when he fell and scraped his cheek on a door frame, his shaggy hair, those long eyelashes, and brown eyes that make me feel like I'm looking in a mirror. 

I look at him and try to imagine for just one second what the sacrifice God made for us feels like. I can't emotionally or physically take the pain - I can't even fathom what He must have felt knowing that His son was born to die. A painful death to save a bunch of sinners. That would just keep sinning. I look at him and see grace. 

We all voted that this year was the best our eggs have ever looked. Emmy's "King family" egg got voted best in show with it's rainbow hombre effect.

;) 

Mom pulled out this darling old table cloth and we both voted that it would make the perfect backdrop for a newborn Easter baby - we also voted that someone else would need to provide said baby.

Early bedtimes on Saturday for some early risers on Sunday! 

Ol EB did not disappoint with swimsuits all around!

Emersyn had an especially hard time decided between two bathing suits this year - but EB (ehm, GiGi) came through and got them their next favorite).

The girls also got matching pjs with their American Girls and Rad lucked up with this awesome game - I may do an entire post on how much fun we had making things up for it!

They all hurried and got dressed so they could find all the treasures that EB had left in the backyard, too!

What do you know... the Tooth Fairy celebrates Easter, too!

I need to confess - I didn't buy the girls new Easter dresses... I KNOW! I love these so much from last summer that I took all the risks and did a repeat. We survived.

Also. I wore pants.

You'd think that was all the fun we can handle for one weekend, but Gigi and Pops had one more surprise left. We stayed up late filling plastic eggs with coins. Each kid got to hunt for an egg of each color/type (I'm not sure why we never thought of this before). 

We had so much fun watching them and instead of fighting over eggs they helped each other find colors. Major wins all around!

Landry even made time to stop and pick some flowers.

Hope you all had a blessed Easter weekend. He is Risen and we are free!