Fifteen years ago today I married the man of my dreams. He checked off all the boxes on the proverbial list...
Kind
Considerate
Cute
Great cook
Generous
God fearing
And most importantly, he put up with me.
We laughed a lot. He smelled good. He took care of me. He was everything I had prayed for in a partner.
He still is.
A few months ago I was cleaning out something for probably the millionth time and came across another list... one we had made driving home from a road trip one weekend. I remember the moment, he was driving my Ford Focus (because going anywhere in the jeep was way too windy). My feet were propped up on the dash, shoes on the floor, music on the radio and we started talking about all the things we wanted to accomplish together. So I did what I always do, grabbed a pen and paper and began to make a list.
Nothing was off limits. No dream was too big. No place too far away. We just dreamed unabashedly without question as if we would obviously cross off every single item. Together we dreamed all the big, wild, crazy dreams... we imagined the adventures and we wrote them all down.
As he opened the package a wide smile lit up his face - he knew exactly what he was seeing and I was brought back to that car ride home. We shared some laughs over how grand of an imagination we had and then we noted we had checked off exactly three items: visit all Disney Parks (well, all of them in the US), we've both lost (and gained) 10/20 pounds since then, we go on family vacations and we've taken tons of cross country road trips.
The moment I found these pieces of paper I knew I had to frame them and give them to Ryan for our anniversary, not because of the items we haven't checked off this list... but for the 1000s of others we have. And while we're both a little disappointed that we aren't retired or that Ryan isn't one of the world's 100 richest men... we sure can't complain about all the dreams we have "checked" together. There is no person in the world I would rather have ridiculous dreams with than him... can't wait for 50 more years of checking off boxes we didn't even think to create.
Twelve years ago these two CHILDREN got dressed up, walked down the aisle, repeated some pretty important words, ate delicious food, danced with friends, hugged our parents and started our forever.
Twelve years pales in comparison to my parents near 50 year story, but it's still a pretty long time! In that time we've created a family, buried love ones, survived hard days, hard jobs and hard parenting moments... we've cried a little, laughed a lot and loved through everything in between.
Our life is nothing like I imagined and pretty much everything I could hope for. It's messy and loud and imperfect and weird and chaotic and random and just such a delight. We have done exactly zero things with perfection. We text angry words and eye rolling emojis. (Ok, maybe that's just me). We say I'm sorry a lot. And we try really hard not to laugh in the middle of an argument.
We learn as we go.
And we celebrated by hopping in the car for an amazing weekend getaway day trip to Ikea and Trader Joe's.
My parents gave us an entire free day of babysitting and even took the kids to Saturday mass so we could head out on a real date when we returned.
We are 18 years older than the first time we celebrated an occasion here, and in all those years together including 12 years of marriage there is no one on the entire planet that I'd rather send an angry emoji to than you.
Thanks for letting me eat off your plate, drink all your beer, and steal your socks. Thanks for always getting me a glass of water and turning off the lights even when I'm the last one to bed. I love you.
One random day this summer Ryan called me to ask if I wanted to go to Vegas. His ridiculous amount of travel over the past two years launched him quickly into a mega amount Hilton Honors points so they offered him a trip to Vegas if we listened to one of their spiels on timeshares. So we said yes and the day finally arrived and we were headed for VEGAS BABY!!!
(And, because I am only honest on here, we almost missed our flight from Houston to Vegas. We left at 5am from CS for an 8:45am flight - you'd think that would be PLENTY OF TIME. But y'all...HOUSTON IS AWFUL. Bless you all that live there.)
But we made it and arrived in Vegas by 10am! We dropped our bags, freshened up and headed to the strip.
We took the big camera but only used our phones for 95% of the trip. This was our first trip sans kids since we hit up Chicago and I forgot how simple it can be to just walk down a street. HAHA!!
We of course took pictures of things that we knew the kids would like, but mostly we just strolled, talked, held hands, and enjoyed each other.
We had dinner with one of my former students (and I can't believe that I didn't snap a pic) and her family. Her husband is in the Air Force and they moved from a 3 year stay in Italy (why we didn't visit them there is beyond me) to Vegas! Loved catching up, squeezing her neck and meeting her sweet babies.
Those casino floors were calling and we, sadly, did not walk away big winners.
I mean... unless you count these as big. We got $100 gambling voucher for listening to the time share spiel as well, so we had to cash out each time we won to be able to collect our winnings. We ended up walking away with $35 from that - so whoop for free money.
We stopped by the Westgate which was the original Hilton and HOME OF ELVIS. You can actually buy his original 3 bedroom apartment as a time share - for the low low low price of $250K.
I mean, chump change.
All original furnishings - so so fun!
After saying no to some time shares, getting our "thanks for listening to us talk" gifts and taking a quick nap - we got gussied up for a night on the town. I tried this romper on kind of as a joke, and just like I did with my senior prom dress, walked away LOVING it. (Thanks, Momma!) It was the perfect thing for a brisk night and fit the Vegas vibe without showing off all the goodies.
We had tickets to a show at 8pm at Planet Hollywood, so we grabbed dinner at an adjacent Italian restaurant. Neither of us was that hungry so we decided to share - big mistake because this was maybe the best pasta I had ever tasted in my life. (Besides my mommas, clearly). Angel hair pasta with fresh crab in a pink sauce - Ryan liked it so much he wanted to eat there the next day, too.
We got tickets "Vegas, The Show" and it did not disappoint. We snagged amazing seats and enjoyed every second of the show. Amazing singers, dancers and live orchestra combined for a fun, entertaining look at Vegas through the years. Complete with the glitz and glamour of days of past leading up to the Vegas entertainment of today. They played homage to The Rat Pack, Tina Turner, Elton John, Siegfried and Roy and Elvis. The dancing was amazing, I sang along to every word and we both left with smiles.
Also. When I was little, my dream job was to be a "solid gold dancer" - so I feel like I almost achieved that here. And the lady next to me was potentially not impressed with my singing.
We ended our evening with a stroll through the Bellagio, some "free drinks" at the penny slots and a slice of pizza at a secret pizza place inside one of the hotels. (I honestly can't remember which one). And then headed back to the hotel for a much needed night of rest for day 3...
Also known as THE BEST DAY EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We took a day trip to the Hoover Dam and Ryan surprised me by renting a convertible Mustang GT. (We could have paid the premium for this shiny red Corvette but free sounded much better than $300)
(#thanksforalltheenterprisepointsUPS)
Seriously. SO.MUCH.FUN.
And the view wasn't so bad either.
Our original plan was to hike some trails to the dam and then take a tour. The hikes take you through old railroad tunnels that were used in building the dam, but sadly, they were all closed for restoration. I think God knew what he was doing though - we were both pretty exhausted and I managed to get a blister from some shoes that I wear all the dang time so my feet were killing me. The slower pace and sweet views were all we really needed.
We took a tour of the power plant inside the dam and literally got to walk through history. This structure is an amazing testimony to the ingenuity and innovation of America.
I can't even begin to explain how incredible this monument is. It would take me days to put it into words how small you feel inside this structure.
We took tunnels, elevators and made lots of twists and turns to get to the center of the dam. I loved that they wanted to create a beautiful masterpiece as well as monumental structure of purpose.
We are 150 feet above ground here, walking through this tiny tunnel to one of the vents.
And this is the view on the other side.
As we made our way through, our dam guide, Tom, pointed to the stairs we'd have to take if the elevator quit working. We all voted that we'd just wait in the tunnel until they fixed the problem before we tried to walk up stairs that seemingly went straight up.
The dam was built to withstand an earthquake that measures 8.4 on the Richter scale.
The end of the tour takes you to an elevator that leads you straight up to the middle of the dam - perfect for another photo op.
The only thing that disappointed me?
THERE IS NO LINE ON THE DAM SPLITTING NEVADA AND ARIZONA.
Yeah. So this...
ALL A LIE.
#damnhollywood
But at some point along that beautiful walk, we were technically in two places at one time so that's fun.
The beauty was captivating, breathtaking, amazing, unimaginable, and so inspiring that nothing could keep you from witnessing how majestic this part of the country truly is.
Well, except for a Pokemon gym.
SMH. .
Bless the sweet teenage boy that couldn't figure out how to work our camera.
And bless these sisters - Cindy, I've ordered some for the messes. ;)
And stopped to document our official welcome to Nevada.
This is the point in the trip where Ryan tries to figure out how much it would cost to live here and decides that we should move immediately. Happens every time.
No matter where we travel.
Every. single. time.
But you can see his point.
We were starving at this point, so we stopped in Boulder for another flight of beer and shared meal before heading to the hotel for naps and a shower.
I need to note that Vegas air = amazing hair. This was taken after an afternoon in a convertible, walking roughly 5 miles and a brush not touching my hair since the night before.
#bless
At least 3 people recommended the same restaurant when we were looking for places to eat in Vegas, so we made Battista's our last stop. Every meal comes with soup or salad, bread, cappuccino and wine. Lots of wine.
(This is Ryan's "wow that's a lot of "free" wine" face).
We left with full tummies and grateful hearts.
We ended the trip at Freemont Street - perhaps my favorite part of Vegas. The lights and sights and sounds made the whole experience so much fun. The light show was the favorite video we sent to the kids - they have watched it at least a dozen times. (WARNING: I am singing in the background - ignore it).
It was also the luckiest we had been on the slots. Wheel of Fortune came in clutch and helped us break even on the trip. Although I was one teeny tiny tick away from $2K.
We had an EARLY flight home because we wanted to make it home to pick up the kiddos from school.
A whirlwind 4 days away with my love. So grateful to get this time with him and so thankful for my momma to give us that precious time away with clear hearts knowing the kiddos were well cared for.
I didn't get you anything for our anniversary. Well, I did arrange for some pretty awesome picture recreations, last night...
and it was insanely awesome to have our kids see us on our "wedding day".
I mean, how beautiful is our wedding party?
But I didn't go out and purchase a gift for you. The traditional gift for 10 years is tin, so I imagine that we will share a beer tonight and check that item off. We aren't really one for big gifts - you know my style is much more of the acts of service variety, so the fact that I am in bed typing while you are at the grocery store with the kids is a solid victory.
I also don't want the day to go unrecognized, so, my love....
The Gift of Love
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
1 Corinthians 13:13
Gosh, you love me fiercely. With fire and ice. With support and understanding. With trust and admiration. With the gift of one hundred thousand things that I've never even seen. You love me. Even when I don't deserve it. Even when I try to make you not love me. Even when you are the last person I want to see - you love me. And I love. Even when I don't want to. Because that's the thing about marriage - it isn't always pretty. It is hardly ever easy. But it is always always worth it. To love and be loved in return is one of the greatest gifts that God has given us (1 John 4:19). Love is mentioned in the bible over 300 times and I think you show me that every single day. By how hard you work for us. By the late nights you spend doing something I don't see so you can coach the kids' soccer teams. By going grocery shopping. By scrubbing toilets. And changing every.single.diaper. for every single kid during middle of the night feedings. By making sure I got an epidural in time. By ordering things on Amazon when I send you a link. By killing spiders. And mayflies. By bringing me water in the middle of the night because I'm thirsty and my feet are cold and I don't want to get out of bed. (I mean, you married a lazy lazy girl). Oh my word, you LOVE me. And I am so honored that you do.
The Gift of Patience
Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.
Ephesians 4:2
To semi-quote one of your favorite quotable movies, "Momma always said" never pray for patience - because God is gonna be sure that you are put in situations where you will need it. And man, does marriage require patience. For and from everyone. Whether it's in the form of waiting on someone to fix something, do something, mail something, watch something, read something, fold something, or my all time favorite, finish in the freaking restroom (seriously - what is up with that? ALL the time - as we are heading out the door!!)... patience isn't just a virtue - it's a necessity and my love, I can say that as patient as I feel I am for you - you have given me that gift time and time again. Whether it's you being patient as I plan our next set of family photos (that require you to move furniture into an orchard), a birthday party, a Christmas party, themed scavenger hunts, vacations, or just an every day moment of me being me - you are so patient. You are kind with words. You are loving. As I continue to figure out this whole "wife" thing - I know I can count on that gift to continue.
The Gift of Trust
When I am afraid, I put my trust in you
Psalm 56:3
This is the foundation of marriage. Trusting your partner. I hope you know and understand just how much I trust you to lead us, to shape us, and to keep us safe. With trust comes vulnerability, being open to showcasing the things about yourself that you are afraid to share, fortunately for you, I'm a total open book all the time. I'm wired to not be afraid to talk about anything, but it's different for you. You grew up being the man of the house and feeling like you had to take care of everything - you weren't used to sharing the load and then you married someone that is stubborn and loud and totally overconfident. And little by little you've trusted me enough to be vulnerable, to need help, to support you. Trust is about more than just telling the truth - trust is shining the light on the darkest parts of yourself and knowing that you will still be loved. Thank you for trusting me.
The Gift of Failure
Where there is stride, there is pride, but wisdom is found in those who take advice.
Proverbs 13:10
I am so very quick to offer you advice, and so nice to do so even when you don't ask for it. ;) But the truth is, I have failed 1000 times at a 100 different things and you let me. You never try to "fix me" - you love me the same and that's what makes me so confident. So self-assured. So sassy and full of herself to think that I can drive your jeep to the Kroger and back when I've never driven a standard. And when I didn't make it, you looked up and smiled and didn't utter so much as an "I told you so". You let me fail - sometimes GLORIOUSLY - and you love, not in spite of it, but through it. The freedom to fail is gift that everyone should be so lucky as to receive. The silent support of someone that really may know better but lets you fly with unwavering confidence that you will succeed. I am confident because of you.
The Gift of Grace
Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
Ephesians 4:32
Your grace is as wide as the ocean and deep as the sea and comes in as strong as the tide. With that freedom to fail that you so lovingly give me, you also bestow upon me the grace to try again. We've been in this marriage business for 10 years and I don't know that I've lived a day as a perfect wife. The beauty is, that I don't have to. We are learning how to navigate these waters together and our forever hasn't even begun to begin. In these 10 years with you I know one thing - there is nothing either of us can do to get out of this deal. Even when you make me "the angriest I've ever been" I have forgiven you before I've, ehm, "raised my voice". You have it - my grace is yours and yours is mine. And that is a beautiful gift for our children to see, for young couples to see, for our friends to see and for us to receive. Your grace sustains me.
The Gift of Friendship
As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.
Proverbs 27:17
As cliche as it sounds, we were friends first. And I'm so glad that we were. I wouldn't trade those days at Honey-B for anything in the world. The sandwich making competitions, the fighting to be the cashier, the trading of sandwiches for beer with the dudes from the Cork and the never ending supply of freshly glazed ham. (I seriously have no idea how we gained weight.) You witnessed my heartache and scooped me up in not only your arms but into the depths of your heart. I vividly remember writing in my journal one night after we had just begun dating, "I think I'm going to marry this boy." And I am so glad I did. You make me laugh even when I don't want to. You listen to my stories and embrace all my friends. You are genuinely proud of me. You make me a better person, wife, mom, sister and friend. You are best-friend. My forever shotgun. My Forrest. My Chandler Bing. My romantic comedy date for life.
The Gift of Legacy
Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house; your children will be like olive shoots around your table.
Psalsm 128:3
This psalm was read at our wedding. The 27 year-old girl version of me knew I wanted children but she didn't know that she NEEDED them. What a legacy we have created in them and what an honor we have been given to borrow these blessings for even a short time. I love those moments when we are surrounded by the chaos of our imperfect lives and the noise of 3 young kids is filling every empty space in existence and we just look at each other, laughing hysterically, and ask, "How in the HECK did we become in charge of other people's lives?!?" They are so lucky to have you as their daddy. A daddy that works hard. A daddy that plays hard. A daddy that reminds me messes are ok and the noise of children will soon enough be filled with the quiet of teenagers. This legacy of ours is a great one. I am so honored to be the mother of your children. The one that gets to watch these olive shoots grow and flourish into orchards for His kingdom right next to you.
The Gift of Hope
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Jeremiah 29:11
My future is bright beside you. I love that you talk about what is coming next for us - our dream house, our retirement plans, our big vacations and crazy business ideas. I love that we know our hope lies in Him and I am grateful that we have been gently reminded that future doesn't have to happen right now. It's easy to get caught up in the scene around us - what our friends are doing, what their friends are doing, where people go and what house they build - but we have come to realize that we for sure don't have it all together, but together we have it all. I have high hopes for our lives, Ryan King, for our children's lives, for our big dreams and crazy ideas. But more than that, I have hope that He will never fail us as long as we put our hope in Him first.
The Gift of Joy
This is the day that the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad.
Psalm 118:24
Our first six years of marriage were hard. I could have never imagined the pattern that we would survive with one death and one baby a year. The three people that raised you, that you loved you, that knew you were all gone by then and even as I type this, it seems unreal. Through all that grief and sadness, we found joy. We still celebrated the light through all of the dark. And you let me bring you joy. I love that we find that in everything we do. I love that you started our nightly tradition of saying what each of us are thankful from that day and giving that joy directly back to Jesus. You bring me joy even when I lock myself in my closet and cry, I can count on you to open that door and bring me through the sadness directly into the shine of joy.
The Gift of Christ
Then Jesus declared, "I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty.
John 6:35
My favorite moment from our entire wedding day has been etched into my core memory. Father Michael had just finished his beautiful homily honoring marriage and Christ as a union and you had been moved to tears. You reached over for my hand in prayer and said, "May we always have God into the center of our marriage." We haven't done this perfectly - like the sinful human beings that we are, we have been headstrong into believing that we can do this alone and we all know how that works out. The times that we have leaned on Him, needed Him, cried out for Him are always the most beautiful days. The Gift of Christ in you is a beautiful thing to watch. When you lead with grace and mercy, when you model the way for our kids and for me, when you submit to His will and understanding is when I am the most in-love. His mercy is endless, His blessings are bountiful, and He is the greatest gift I can receive in you. Here's to many more years of seeing Him work in us both, through us both, with us both.
Wife to a hot UPS man and momma to #wee3kings... my motto is the more the merrier so everyone always has a seat at our table. Love God. Love others. Everyone is welcome.. and no one leaves hungry.
