Tiny Tales Thursday...

I'm gonna veer off course a bit and tell a tale about.... well... me.

I actually don't even know where to begin. I guess it started on September 6, 2007 when my life changed forever. In that moment, I knew that I had to live "better." With more meaning and effort.

Then life really changed on December 1 or 2, 2007 - that was the day that my maternity leaved ended and I had to leave my sweet Radley and go to work. Around 9am I thought for the first of about 1 million times, "WHAT am I doing? WHY am I at work?"

I told myself all the reasons that I chose (and still do) to "work outside the home".
1. I love my job
2. I make a difference
3. I went to school (twice) to do this job
4. I am a better mom because I work

And I believe every single one of those statements.

But. It still isn't any easier.

Ever hear the phrase "working Dad"? No? Oh, that's because men just get to be "Dad" - with no adjective in front. Women, on the other hand, are put in one of MANY categories...

1. Stay-at-home Mom
2. Work-at-home Mom
3. Working Mom

Why can't we just be "Mom"?

It's crazy.

Over the past 5.5 years I have had several conversations with myself (and many of you) about what I want and need for my life. I battle with myself until I feel like I am at war.

I just want to be successful.

At home and at work.

But the truth is - it's darn near impossible. When I'm at work I am thinking about home. Whether it's a party, a birthday, grocery lists, any number of holidays or special occasions, a sick kid, a tired husband... my brain is wandering.

And then when I'm at home, and "need" to be at work, my brain is on overdrive and the panic attack is creeping in.

And, I've had it.

I owe my family more. And me... I owe myself a break.

Women are our own worst critiques. And it has to stop.

We have to quit apologizing, quit saying "it's fine", START asking for help, and understand that we are all in this together.

So.

That's what I did.

And as of June 1, I am now on a 3/4 time, 10 month contract at work. I know. This is HUGE.

And amazing. And I am ever so grateful for it.

For this time at home. Focusing on my family. And quite frankly, focusing on me. (I know, I said it).

The great part is - I am home. I can go to the grocery store on Monday mornings. I will pick Radley up from school in the fall. I can sit and do nothing in the middle of the day.

The part that stinks - is that we have to pay for daycare no matter what if we want to keep the girls' spots for next year. And, Radley opted for a summer of field trips over 8 weeks with Mom.

Which means, I have been given a gift of time. Time to myself. Time to regroup. Time to refresh. Time to replenish. Time to relax. Time to rejoice. And reflect.

(wow - there are a lot of "re" words).

And I am.

So - if your instagram becomes clogged with DIY projects, messy faced kids, random work out pictures of me dying at my attempt to get back in shape - you know why.

Grateful for this stop in our fairy tale. Looking forward to the stories I will be able to create with this gift of time.

Just keep swimming...

Summer is officially here which means lots of time at the pool. We were great parents with Radley and signed up for swim lessons every year until he was 4. Notsomuch with Miss Emersyn (oops). She loves playing in the water and has discovered a newfound freedom with her floaties, but we clearly need to teach this child how to swim.

So, I put a call out on the FB and one of my sweet former students signed up for the job! We had her first lesson on Monday and she did great!

Emmy trusted Amanda right away and showed off lots of her skills. 

Like kicking...

And blowing bubbles...

And scooping cookie dough...

She even made time for a quick picture (complete with a "Gig'em).

She did great on her first day and celebrated a hard day's work with some chocolate goldfish.

As an added bonus - Radley was having his first field trip of the summer at the pool, so we got to hang out with him, too!

Happy happy Summer!

Summer bucket list...

On the "official last day" of Pre-K, Radley's teachers sent home a bucket filled with all kinds of goodies including a summer bucket list. The list included everything from eating watermelon and catching fireflies to camping outside. One item struck a chord with me - go on a scavenger hunt. Mom used to send Jody, Jeremy and me on scavenger hunts for goodies all the time. (One of the most memorable lead us to our very own landline. Those were the days!)

I had planned on sending the kids on a scavenger hunt at some point this summer, but since it was on his bucket list, I moved the date up to kick off June. When they woke up from their naps, they say Clue #1 taped to the floor...

Summer is here it's time for fun

Celebrating for everyone

We have a surprise for just you three

Be real still and listen to me

The first goodie is behind a door

In a place where snacks are stored

So the clues weren't that hard ...

but look at this face when she found it!

You got it! Two prizes left!

You can do it, try your best.

The next one is a little tricky

It's where you get clean if you are icky

Look high and low and don't give in

It helps you get clean from toes to chin!

Good job - isn't this fun?

Clue #3 is your last one

Look high and low but not inside

It's near a place where you like to slide

It's goes up and down and very high

Maybe someday you can touch the sky

He was convinced that we forgot to put the last envelope on the slide - it took him about 3 minutes to notice it was attached to the swing.

The prizes consisted of coupons for each of the kids:

An extra 30 minutes before bed

Dinner of your choice

A night out alone with Mom and Dad

I got the coupon idea from Cindy who gave them to her girls for Christmas - thanks, friend! The kids LOVED them. They have until September 1 to "spend" them. Radley has decided that he is doing his night out with us on August 31. Emmy will probably use all of hers next week. And well, Landry will join in next time. 

The entire 15 minutes of this (if that) made me more excited for summer than I have been in years. Hope you all enjoy yours, too!