The right words...

I've been incredibly quiet on the social media front this week. I simply couldn't find the words to express the big feelings I had. I wanted the right words to find me, so I've prayed for intentionality and discernment. I've prayed that my words find the right ears and the right hearts that need them which is kind of silly because no one is sitting out there wondering one second "What does Katy think about all this".

Then I started writing and as my fingers hit the keys I paused and thought, "I've read this somewhere before." Turns out I had the "right words" all along... from a blog post I wrote 10 years ago. 

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June 23, 2015

I'm sure you've all noticed the news lately. Filled with sadness and hate. Judgment and scorn. A he said/she said battle that would rival a middle school cafeteria. Stories of courage that are met with ridicule out of fear of the unknown. Stories of racism that a country won't admit still exists. Stories that are so unbelievably tragic all you can do is cry. 

And I do. 

But I also pray and within those prayers are the hope that my Christian brothers and sisters will stand up and showcase to the world that is watching what the meaning of Christ's love is really all about. 

And then I cry some more because time and time again, we fail.

We fail to help from fear. We fail to listen from hate. We fail to simply stand next to each other with an open ear, open arms and most of all, an open heart. We ultimately fail to love and in doing so, we fail to bring people to Him. In fact, we do the opposite. We turn people from Him. With our hate. With our judgment. With our scorn. With our "better than you" attitudes. 

I'm not a biblical scholar by any means. I can recite maybe 5 verses off the top of my head, but I'm pretty sure no where in the bible says, "Go thee, and hate. In my name, turn others from seeking me because I just don't like them." 

All kidding aside, I have always envied those that can recite applicable scripture for any situation and I have made it a goal and prayed many a prayer that I become more connected with using His word in my own. And prayers are answered y'all because this week I feel like He was speaking to me (and well, when He talks to you - you best shut up and listen). 

As I was sitting in church on Sunday listening to a sermon that I personally felt wasn't sharing the true meaning of Christ's love ... He laid on my heart The Parable of the Good Samaritan from Luke 10:25-37. It states... 

25 On one occasion an expert in the law stood up to test Jesus. “Teacher,” he asked, “what must I do to inherit eternal life?”26 “What is written in the Law?” he replied. “How do you read it?”

27 He answered, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’[a]; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’[b]”

28 “You have answered correctly,” Jesus replied. “Do this and you will live." 29 But he wanted to justify himself, so he asked Jesus, “And who is my neighbor?”30 In reply Jesus said: “A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, when he was attacked by robbers. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him and went away, leaving him half dead. 31 A priest happened to be going down the same road, and when he saw the man, he passed by on the other side. 32 So too, a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. 33 But a Samaritan, as he traveled, came where the man was; and when he saw him, he took pity on him. 34 He went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he put the man on his own donkey, brought him to an inn and took care of him. 35 The next day he took out two denarii[c] and gave them to the innkeeper. ‘Look after him,’ he said, ‘and when I return, I will reimburse you for any extra expense you may have.’

36 “Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of robbers?” 37 The expert in the law replied, “The one who had mercy on him.”

Jesus told him, “Go and do likewise.”

Did you see it? It's so simple but yet we find it so hard to follow. 

Love your neighbor as yourself. 

Love your NEIGHBOR as YOURSELF.

Y'all. It's what we've been taught since we were tiny humans. Love thy neighbor. It's rampant in the bible - from beginning to end. Love. Love others as He loves us. 

Unconditionally.

Unequivocally.

Unquestionably. 

Love. 

It literally is all around the bible. 

1 John 3: ... This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters. 17 If anyone has material possessions and sees a brother or sister in need but has no pity on them, how can the love of God be in that person? 18 Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.

In actions. And in truth.

1 John 4:19: We love because He first loved us.

He loved us. He LOVES us. 

And all He is asking is for us to do the same. 

He's not saying agree. He's not saying be the same. 

He's just asking us to love. 

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The great debate in America is filled with voices claiming persecution because of Christian beliefs. I'm not going to claim to know someone else's story. I will only claim mine. I've found that it is not my belief in Christ that turns people away, rather my lack of ACTING on that belief that causes others to pause. 

I can claim the word of God until I'm blue in the face. Put my favorite verse on my social media profile, tweet that I just want people to know Christ, and light a ceremonial candle every Sunday. But if I don't LIVE like Jesus, then what is it all for? 

That's my challenge to anyone reading this. Before you speak, before you offer judgment, before you claim action in Jesus' name, ask yourself if that's REALLY what he would do. 

Jesus touched the lepers. He TOUCHED them. He spoke to them. He healed them. 

Our love should do the same. 

It really is that simple. It really is that easy. Like my good friend Jen says, "People can hate me because I love Jesus. But I would never want people to hate Jesus because of me." And lately, a lot of people hate Jesus because of Christians. 

Think about that. How many people have been turned away from the ultimate love because we haven't offered our own? 

Be a good Samaritan today. I promise you won't regret it. 

Everything I need to know, I learned in Kindergarten...

Goodness, it feels like just yesterday we were counting down until the first day of kindergarten, and that's not just a saying... we literally did a 10 day countdown complete with presents, activities, and words of wisdom from our closest friends and family. 

Dear lord, the energy I had. 

I justify this crazy because our first kid was having this major life moment which meant our family was having a major life moment. (I only regretted it a little since this then required us to do to more countdowns because I am nothing if not a consistent parent.) 

These first borns, y'all... they have to share all the firsts with us - we are all literally doing everything for the first time at the same time, except as parents we're supposed to know what we are doing. Spoiler alert - we do not know what are doing.

I fear I didn't plan an elaborate countdown to senior year - kindergarten mom is totally judging me. But I did go re-read that "lesson plan" and wouldn't you know that all those people that loved you then (and still love you now) had some great wisdom that applies all these years later.  Here are some of my favorites: 

• Pick your friends with care - they are a reflection of you. - Pops
• Always be yourself. Try new things. Be ready for new challenges. - Gigi
• One day it will all make perfect sense. - Uncle Pete 
• Just do YOUR best. - Uncle Jody
• Work hard. Have fun. Kiss a girl. Make new friends. - Nana 
• Be nice to your teacher. Work hard. Have fun. - Jenni
• It's only a mistake if you don't learn from it. - Uncle Josh
• Walk humbly with God and give all glory to Him. - Tia
• Be kind to everyone. There will always be someone in class that needs a friend. - KK

In all these years, you've learned these lessons and more. But you know what, you've taught me and others so much along the way. Proud of you, kid. You may have entered a season of lasts, but I can't help but think of all the firsts there are to come and how lucky we are to be part of each and every one of them! 

Happy birthday, Momma

 Hey, Momma!

Happy birthday! 

We love celebrating you - I mean, there is nothing easier in the world that celebrating a loving, caring, giving, selfless person like you. And you know what else you are? 

Strong.
Brilliant.
Beautiful.
Supportive.

I know this birthday is going to be hard. I know the next 20 birthdays are going to be hard. But I also know that YOU are worth celebrating big. Even if it feels and looks different than any birthday you've had for the past 55 years with Dad. He wants us to celebrate you because he was so proud to be yours. He was so grateful to be loved by you. And we are, too. This year even more so. 

You've amazed me for my entire life. You're patient with all of us. You're funny when you get mad. (ok, so maybe we just laugh at you when you're mad).  You are fiercely loyal and protective (just ask any sports referee). You want things to be fair. You want us to feel valued. You want us to be happy. You don't love it when any of us are mad or sad or generally inconvenienced (which is why you insist on skipping yourself in a game of Uno). 

You've taught me the art of opening up my home to whoever needs a place to feel welcomed. I recognize the importance of "the more the merrier" and always cook more than I need to just in case. I never feel guilty about ordering the ice cream. I've made it my goal to make sure my home is as inviting and welcoming as the one you raised us all in (including our friends). My fridge is stocked with soda. My pantry has sugary cereal and my snacks are always ready for as many hands that need one. ( I do draw the line at going to 4 different fast food restaurants but occasionally will call an audible and celebrate a "Gigi night"). 

I'm as hard on my kids' friends as I am on them because I love them like my own. 

I cuss a little.  

I prefer jeans and leggings to fancy dresses. 

I wear hardly any makeup. 

I prefer baths to showers any day of the week. 

I love a good pedicure. 

I used reusable bags before they were cool. 

Bread is my bestie. 

A target run with my best-friend can solve any problem. 

I think Jesus is pretty cool but his followers annoy the heck out of me from time to time. 

Basically, I'm you.

All that I am, all that I hope to be, rests in the example you set for me. 

You are a leader in every sense of the word. You have modeled the way for Jody, Jeremy and each of ours to grieve but keep going. To keep Christ at our core. To cry when we need to but to celebrate, too. To find joy within our own sorrow. 

And we do. We will. Always.

We are so glad YOU were born and we take this day and all the days ahead being grateful for the gift of you as our momma. 

I love you, Mom. 

Happy happy birthday!!

Daddy Greg Honey

It's been one month since our world changed. 
One month of catching my breath when I remember he's gone. 
One month of silent tears at the most random times. 
One month of thinking of life as before and after. 
One month of the rest of our lives that will look different. 

26. That's the number of days between diagnosis and losing him. Such a jarring number to think of in those terms. But y'all... in those 26 days I experienced more love than some people get in a lifetime. I was witness to Mom living her vows out loud, just like she did every day, but in a way that was so beautiful and comforting to us. 

I could share more about those days, and maybe one day I will. But today, I want to share about Daddy Greg Honey (a name he got from Jody when he was little). 

To begin with - my dad has seen the face of God. 

Isn’t that amazing?! 

That could be the total of my words today. That is more than enough to say - he lived and loved and lead a life that allowed him to leave this earth and see the face of God. Amen indeed. 

But because I am who I am and he was who he was, you’re getting more than that from me. 

As I prepped to share these words at his service, I began to make a list of things I wanted people to know about Dad. Seems like a pretty impossible task… there is just too much for me to put into words. 

But as I reflected on the 43 years that I got to spend with him, a few things come to mind. 

He valued community. 

Mom and Dad moved to Texas when she was pregnant with me and I think they were like a major popular new couple in town. My earliest childhood memories are filled with the little league fields, small groups at our home, and days at the swimming pool. With Dad in the center of it all - coaching teams, hosting kids, or letting us all pile on top of him. He was up for fun and never too old or too cool to be with us and our friends. He and mom taught us how to build a village that sustains us. 

He was a good little Italian. 

One of my favorite stories about Dad is when they first moved to Waco and began attending this church, he looked through the directory and found the first “Italian name” in the directory - Ben Leonido. He called up Mr. Ben and let him know they were new Italians in town and asked if he wanted to meet at the back of the church after mass. Mr. Ben of course said yes. Well, after mass that week Dad went to the back of the church and looked all around for his new Italian friend. And then Mr. Ben showed up - a short Filipino man outstretched his hand, introduced himself to Dad and they were instantly best friends. 

He hated being late. 

Bless his heart between his mom, my mom, and sometimes me he was hardly on time. 

He was incredibly patient. (See above). Whether he was teaching my brothers how to play tennis, mow the yard, tie a tie, or change a tire - he would keep doing it as long as it took not just until they got “it” right… but until they felt confident in themselves. He did the same for me, too. 

He called me Princess. 

But he never made me feel too precious to get dirty or try new things or hang with the boys. He made sure I knew I was capable of whatever I wanted to do or accomplish while also making me feel cherished. 

He hardly ever lost his temper.

Seriously … and we know how to push buttons in our house… but I don’t remember him ANGRY very often. We were disciplined for sure, but not with anger. And you would know when he was angry because he’d get a little bit of spit on his bottom lip - and that’s when we got scared. I only saw it twice. Once when I didn’t want to do my homework in the 4th grade and once when I was in college and Jeremy and I spent money on the credit card for some “home improvements” (which Dad knew was just an excuse to throw a party). And there was also that one time Jody drove to Baton Rouge in the middle of the night, but I’ll let him tell you that one. 

He loved Elvis and LSU. 

A lot. He did this funny little dance any time Elvis came on and he loved letting me know that my Aggies were sadly never going to be as good as his Tigers. It only took us several years and 7 overtimes to finally beat them. One day when we were driving into Baton Rouge going over the bridge to our exit, Radley looked over to where the LSU campus is and said, “Pops… I made a decision. I’m going to LSU… And for a split second, my Dad was on cloud nine. and Radley finished by saying, “and then I’m going to a REAL college.”

 

He loved to shop. 

And he was good at it. I loved going shopping with Dad… he wouldn’t just tell me I looked great in something, he knew which colors looked good on me, which cut of a dress I should buy, and which brands would last. And that’s when mom would come in and just say “buy it” - a great dynamic duo. 

He loved his legs. 

Give that man a pair of short shorts and tennis racket and watch out. 

He wanted us to be OUR best more than be THE best. 

A lesson that has stayed with each of us, I think, and something we have hopefully passed on to our kids. Being YOUR best each day, being kind, and doing what’s right above all else is a lesson I am grateful to have learned. 

He took pride in his work.

I loved visiting him at JCPenney - he was just so good at his job. He knew everything there was to know about every corner of that store. I would watch in awe as he solved problems, made sales, and served customers. Customer service has been ingrained into our lives and I’ve taken the example he has set for us and used it in my own work and I know Jody and Jeremy have as well. It’s a lesson that goes well beyond our jobs. It has bled into our lives and how we interact with everyone we meet. I often think about what Dad would do in my own job - how would he lead, how would he serve - what should my strategy be. 

He gifted us his time.

I know he didn’t make every tennis match, band performance, basketball game, or cheerleading commitment… but I can’t remember one time he wasn’t there when we needed him. Our kids would say the same thing. 

He could sleep anywhere. Literally. 

He was present with us. 

Always in the moment, not distracted. He listened. He never quit wanting to learn more. We didn’t have to agree with him which was such a gift. He genuinely wanted to hear our OWN beliefs, why we believed them, and where he could learn more about whatever we were talking about. 

He was a family guy. 

Adoring son. Steadfast brother. Loving cousin. I know we all loved visiting Baton Rouge and watch him with his crew of siblings and cousins. You could see how much they all meant to him and how part of him always wanted to stay a little longer. 

He loved his grandkids. 

Something fierce. His whole face lit up when he was around them. As sad as I am to have lost him, I ache the most that those 6 kids (plus his many other adopted grands) lost him so soon. But I am so grateful for every single moment he spent with them. We spent Thanksgiving sharing what about Pops we were thankful for and here’s what they said:

Owen: Life lessons and playing golf

Radley: The little moments they got to spend together, from running to the store to being outside - he got to spend a lot of alone time with Pops

Kailyn - His sense of humor and making it a priority to spend time with them

Emmy - For how well he loved her - she knew it and felt it

Landry - For every second she got to spend with him and he was the best back scratcher

Keirstyn - For being the best hugger

He loved my mom. 

Abundantly. Fiercely. Faithfully. He valued and honored their covenant for 53 years. They spent more of their life together than apart. He worked so hard to build a life she loved and if you ask her today, she’d say it was a job well done. 

I could type all day about things I want you to know about Dad. But here’s all you NEED to know about him... 

He loved Jesus. 

He followed Christ. 

He lead us to Him. 

As we spent our final days with Dad we got to say all the things we wanted to say. We told him how proud we are to be his and how thankful we are for being loved by him. 

And then he shared with us the same. A gift I will forever be grateful for. A gift I want to share with you. 

He told us he wasn’t scared of death. He confidently knew what was next for him. 

And then he said this:

Make your walk with Christ your own. 

Go to church. 

Know God. 

Love God.

Honor God. 

Be proud to be Catholic and be humbled by the miracle of the Eucharist each time you receive the body of Christ. 

So in honor of Dad, that’s what I ask of you today. Celebrate his life by knowing Christ our King gives us eternal life and fulfills His promise to us that we will meet again.

Know that a life that knows God is a life well lived. 

Just like Dad. 

Thank you, Daddy, for that gift and so many others. We are proud to be yours. 

Still dreaming...

 Fifteen years ago today I married the man of my dreams. He checked off all the boxes on the proverbial list... 

• Kind
• Considerate 
• Cute
• Great cook
• Generous 
• God fearing

And most importantly, he put up with me. 

We laughed a lot. He smelled good. He took care of me. He was everything I had prayed for in a partner. 

He still is. 

A few months ago I was cleaning out something for probably the millionth time and came across another list... one we had made driving home from a road trip one weekend. I remember the moment, he was driving my Ford Focus (because going anywhere in the jeep was way too windy). My feet were propped up on the dash, shoes on the floor, music on the radio and we started talking about all the things we wanted to accomplish together. So I did what I always do, grabbed a pen and paper and began to make a list. 

Nothing was off limits. No dream was too big. No place too far away. We just dreamed unabashedly without question as if we would obviously cross off every single item. Together we dreamed all the big, wild, crazy dreams... we imagined the adventures and we wrote them all down. 

As he opened the package a wide smile lit up his face - he knew exactly what he was seeing and I was brought back to that car ride home. We shared some laughs over how grand of an imagination we had and then we noted we had checked off exactly three items: visit all Disney Parks (well, all of them in the US), we've both lost (and gained) 10/20 pounds since then, we go on family vacations and we've taken tons of cross country road trips. 

The moment I found these pieces of paper I knew I had to frame them and give them to Ryan for our anniversary, not because of the items we haven't checked off this list... but for the 1000s of others we have. And while we're both a little disappointed that we aren't retired or that Ryan isn't one of the world's 100 richest men... we sure can't complain about all the dreams we have "checked" together. There is no person in the world I would rather have ridiculous dreams with than him... can't wait for 50 more years of checking off boxes we didn't even think to create. 

The day after...

I q-dropped PoliSci. Twice. I just didn't really have any desire to understand how government works when I could be doing more important things like figuring out how to win Derby Days. 

But while my understanding of our complex government may have taken years to comprehend, I have never misunderstood the magnitude of the meaning of democracy, the privilege I hold as an American*, and the importance of leadership in the pursuit of our liberty. 

*It took me longer than I'd like to admit to understand my privilege as a white American.

I grew up believing what the adults around me believed. I remember being so sad when George H.W. Bush wasn't reelected but also not fully recognizing why I was or should be sad. As a 6th grader I had other things to worry about like the growing zit on my nose and the fact that I had an inappropriate crush on our PE student teacher. 

I also remember the letter. You know the one. The one that a great leader wrote to his successor. The letter that took courage, humility, and honor to write. The letter that put others before himself. The letter that focused on the betterment of the people through the example he set. The letter that has become a tradition in an office that should represent all that is great about this country. And while it may not have been a long standing tradition, it was an important one. A powerful one. The notion that a nation could transition between leaders, ideals, passions and visions with mutual respect is something to be proud of as Americans. 

Humility in leadership is one of the most important characteristics a person should exhibit. Knowing when to lead and when to ask for help and better yet, when to admit that you just aren't the best person for a job can determine the legacy you leave. I've spent my career trying to teach that to young adults that will one day rise to lead our classrooms, businesses, hospitals, universities and this great country. I have witnessed them ask for help, seek outside perspectives and continue to grow knowing that they never stop learning, they never know everything. 

But yesterday, we witnessed the opposite of humility. We watched as the leader of our country exhibited such selfishness and greed that he knowingly put our entire country at risk. A hunger for power at all costs. What we witnessed yesterday was not patriotism. It was white supremacy. Insurrection. Treason. Terrorism. In my opinion, an attack that was more harmful than 9/11. These men and women didn't represent outsiders trying to take down the American way, they walked in our nations capitol holding American flags, claiming to represent the ideals of our nation and attempted to destroy almost 250 years of democracy. 

This didn't happen overnight. We watched the fall in slow motion with every lie from his mouth and horrific rhetoric on Twitter. And we won't be able to fix it overnight. Things won't magically change on January 20. It will take more work to undo the harm than it took to create it. 

And while my hope rests in Jesus, the work rests in US.

You and me. The way we speak to each other. The way we help our neighbors. The way we stand up against racism in real time with real actions and not just through a like or share on social media. We have hard conversations with our children. We create space for respectful discourse. We are open to questions and are prepared with answers. We quit blaming the media and start taking ownership ourselves. We do not turn a blind eye to obvious hate. We quit buying into ridiculous conspiracy theories. We acknowledge the injustice of systemic racism and we work to change it. 

We start with me to make it better for we. We each work to become humble, courageous leaders in our homes and communities. That's what I'm telling my kids today... the day after we witnessed us at our worst. There is still hope for us to become our best. 

Three little words...

Wow.

I almost don't even know how to do this anymore. Do I make a new introduction or can I assume you still know who I am?

I've kind of lost my touch. Truth be known, writing brings me a lot of joy... but somewhere along the way I lost it.  If I'm honest with myself, I didn't really lose the joy for writing, I got frustrated that no one seemed to care what I was saying. My ego got in the way. I didn't get enough comments. Friends didn't share my words with others. The only real consistent encouragement I got was from my Momma (thanks, Mom)... but even then it felt more like she wanted to know what the kids were doing and less about what I was writing  (sorry, Mom).

So what brings me here, today?

Well.... to be specific....

Chaos.
Fear.
Uncertainty.
Faith.
Hope.
Love.

All these emotions I'm experiencing have no where else to go but into words.

I committed to reading the bible this year and I'm trying not to let the fact that I am heavily into the Old Testament be a dire sign that God is trying to wipe us clean for the giant mess we've created of this world. I'm sure some of you are feeling some of the same feelings I am. So let's figure out how to get through this together, shall we?

Chaos

Y'all. HEB looks like it was ransacked by some college kids needing a late night snack because they have a case of the munchies. (So I've been told - that is NOT from personal experience). Schools are closed. Conferences cancelled. Entire sports seasons have stopped. Chaos is the only way to describe it. And through so much chaos I can't help but feel a little...

Fear.

This is SCARY y'all. I have tried hiding my tears from my kiddos as best as I can because I don't want them to be scared. But I am SCARED. For my family. For my parents. For my friends. For strangers. Just scared. I need my momma, but I also want her to cover herself in bubble wrap coated in bleach and stay inside a closet for the next 8 weeks, so...there's that. There's also just so much

Uncertainty.

We basically know nothing. I mean, some people know some things, but we don't really KNOW anything.

And that got me thinking about Noah and Abraham and Joseph and Moses... can you imagine the chaos and fear and uncertainty each of them felt? Noah was told to build an ark with very specific dimensions and doing that kind of precise project makes me want to weep. Abraham was told he would be a dad at the ripe old age of 100. Joseph was nearly killed by his brothers. And, poor Moses spent 40 YEARS taking an a 11 day road trip to the promised land that HE NEVER GOT TO SEE.

Chaos.
Fear.
Uncertainty.

But through all of that, they had three things that are even more powerful...

Faith.
Hope.
Love.

Their faith guided them through their darkest hours. Their hope gave them reason to continue in times of chaos. And His love, well, His love is what carried them through... and that same love is what will sustain us today, tomorrow and the days after that.

Dear 30 year old me,

Dear 30 year old me,

In exactly 30 days you will be 40 years old. When Dad turned 40, the entire store of JCP was turned into a graveyard. The "marketing ladies" made tombstones, his office was filled with black balloons, and I think black crepe paper was just about everywhere in the break room.

Needless to say, we thought 40 was "near death" old.

I have other ideas about this milestone age now. But today isn't about nearly 40 year-old us... it's about 30 year-old you and a few things that helped us survive and maybe a few things I wish I would have known... but before we get to that, let's look at us at 30...

I specifically chose this picture because know that it's one of 4 times that you will look this good for the next 10 years. HA! (Shout out to professional hair and makeup for Niki's wedding!)

Life isn't going to be exactly what you planned and that's ok.
Not one single bit of your life can be orchestrated solely by you. It's impossible... and that's what makes it so beautiful. We can get all the degrees we want, pick out the perfect house, say yes to our dream job, and even decide how many kids we want. But we actually control zero parts of what happens to us - and that's life. Every disaster, every success, every challenge, every easy day, every obstacle and every milestone... there's beauty in each piece of our individual puzzles.

No one has a better life than you do, different? Maybe. But not better. 
(Spoiler alert: this is still something we're gonna be working on at 40) Say this to yourself every time you get a case of the greens - you know, jealousy? We all have different stories to tell, and life would be so sad if you missed out on telling yours because you were so wrapped in someone else's. Don't fall for the lie of social media - we all show the highlight reels... but the good stuff, the REAL stuff is important, too. Sometimes it's hard to watch other people do things that you aren't doing and not feel like a "failure." But, there's a strong possibility that those same people are looking at you and wanting a little slice of your life, too.

Get in a selfish routine. 
Sounds weird, right? Don't get me wrong, doing for others is awesome, but making time for yourself is important, too. When you pour into yourself (by reading, relaxing, sleeping, eating well, exercising) then you have a lot more to give to those around you.

It's okay to ask for help.
Asking for help doesn't make you weak - it makes you smart. "It" really does take a village. Raising children, owning pets, working, going to school... even being married takes more than 2 people sometimes. Ask your village for support - they will never let you down.

Cheer on your friends. 
Be excited about the success of your friends - even when you aren't accomplishing big things. Remember that "no one's life is BETTER... just different" lesson? It applies here. Be on the front row, cheer the loudest, support their dreams, buy their products, like their pictures, comment on their blog posts, share their story... CHEER THEM ON!

Recognize the power of no.
Girl. JUST SAY NO. You don't have to be everything to everybody every single day. Those two little letters hold a powerful punch. And by saying "no" more ... you give strength to your "yes!". Sounds weird, but it's true. People will come to realize that your YES means you are committed because you don't give them away so easily. Let's practice, real quick: "Sorry, I can't commit to that right now." ... "I know that I've done this before, but this just isn't my best yes." [Thank you, Lysa T.] ... "It's a no from me." ... "My talents are better suited else where." ... "I've already committed my time other places."

Girlfriends are one of your greatest gifts.
You are going to meet new people throughout your life. Be grateful for the individual role that each woman plays in shaping who you are. Your work friends, your best-friends, your new friends, your old friends... they all have a piece of you and you need every single one of them. Savor that time, appreciate that kinship and foster every single one of those relationships. You will laugh and cry and cheer and scheme. You will solve each other's problems. Your girlfriends are one of this decade's greatest blessings.

Everything doesn't have to happen now.
Believe it or not, you don't have to drive a fancy car, go on exotic vacations, build a dream home, cook lavish meals and also have a six-pack. (Which is great, because, spoiler alert, 10 years later and you still haven't checked off any of those items). AND THAT IS OKAY! We (hopefully) get to live on this earth for a long time... enjoy the season of life you are in without worrying about all the things you haven't done.

Your spouse/partner is not actually trying to drive you crazy.
It may feel like it, but they're not. :)

Your children's favorite toys will be blocks/legos, cars, dolls, books and dress up clothes. 
Don't waste money on the "latest and greatest" fad. They always come back to those five things. The money we would have saved??? We could have gone to Italy and back 15 times by now!

No one has it together. 
Yep. We are all a bunch of big fat fakers. All of us are worried we aren't doing something right, we're messing up our kids, we aren't giving our all at work, we could be better partners... the list goes on. The truth is we are all doing the best we can, and that's all we should expect.

Choose your joy.
By now, you are a broken record at telling the kids "choose your attitude"... sometimes we could use those same words of wisdom. As Ms. Hawkins ended 95% of her announcements in Jr. High... "Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% of how you react to it." There is so much power in our choices to choose joy, happiness, gratefulness... in those moments that have you stressed, worried, angry... choose joy instead.

Seek Him first.
Most important piece of advice in this list. Seek Him first. Seek Him always. There is nothing that we can do to ever lose the love of Christ. You are going to walk through stress, disappointment, anger, fear, joy.... give it all back to Him. The beauty of Christ is that we are never alone... we never have to solve on single problem alone. He is there for all the big and small and hard. Seek Him first.


In closing, you are going to love your thirties. There is such a gentle gift in aging. You begin to focus on the important things, you hold on to the dear things and you let things that don't matter fade. And you finally FINALLY figure out your best hair. Savor every single second of this decade. The best really is yet to come...

Love,
Your older, wiser (and honestly better looking) self.

40 to 40

I've always been a believer in celebrating birthdays BIG. I'm going to attribute this to my mom, who managed to always make us feel special and loved on our special day each year. Whether it was saying yes to a sleepover turned midnight makeover, renting the skating rink for a Rainbow Brite themed blowout or a surprise Sweet 16 (complete with a car with a GIANT BOW on top) - she and my dad made us feel loved.

Basically poor Ryan inherited a spoiled rotten person. But I digress.

Sunday marked 40 days until my 40th birthday. I've been count downing on my phone, looking forward to the milestone and trying to decide how I wanted to celebrate the big day.

Turns out... I get to celebrate for the next FORTY days.

Ryan, Cindy and Jenni have crafted the most amazing (and overwhelmingly humbling) birthday gift of my life. Each day, for the next 40 days someone from my life is going to wish me happy birthday.

I can't get over it. I'm sitting here in Blue Baker crying as I type this.

I don't drive a fancy car.
The floor in my house is being held together with wood glue.
I can't use my shower.
I've never been to Europe.
I don't have a giant savings account filled with the moneys.

But, without a doubt... I am loved. And I am so completely grateful for every person that God has placed in my life. Every hard part, every easy friendship. Every tiny moment has been carefully crafted just for me. Just like every part of your life has been carefully crafted for YOU.

Parts of my life are absolutely nothing like I imagined... but everything I could ever dream.

This aging thing, y'all... I just can't describe the freedom you feel. I quit apologizing. I take time for myself. I listen before I speak. I am zero percent impressed with material things. I love the reflection in the mirror... but more importantly, that pistol of a woman inside... man, she's pretty cool, too.

So here is to the next 40 days of celebrating every gift that has entered my life. I treasure these people, these memories, these divine miracles that crossed my path. Each of them have helped shape me into the wife, mom, daughter, sister, friend... the list goes on. I am who I am because each of you and that is the greatest gift by far.

We5AmeriKings 2018: Day 11

It's safe to say that we all had a favorite day on the this amazing trip, and I think day 11 may have been Rad's. We enjoyed a slower morning and then walked from our hotel to the Georgia Aquarium. 

Here's a few fun facts that make this aquarium so special: 

Georgia Aquarium opened to the public in November 2005 with over one million guests visiting within the first 100 days and 3.6 million guests visiting within the first year. 

Georgia Aquarium is the largest aquarium in the Western Hemisphere with more than 10 million gallons of water. 

Ocean Voyager is the largest indoor aquatic habitat in the world, holding 6.3 million gallons of water. 

 Georgia Aquarium is the only Aquarium in North America that is home to whale sharks, the largest fish in the world.

Pro tip: If you get there when it opens (like we did)... skip the first few exhibits and go straight to the whale shark. The crowds don't show up until later in the day so the viewing section is practically empty. I didn't think about this until it was too late so we had to shove some people out of the way by the time we made our way around. (kidding, of course). 

Instead, we got an early morning view of these critters... and the piranhas, too! 

Since the moment we planned Atlanta as a stop, I had been looking forward to seeing the whale shark and then this happened. Holy cow, Beluga whales are majestic y'all. I'm pretty sure I teared up which isn't really a surprise, but still. To think of all the creatures God created... as we walked around, I was reminded of the song "So Will I" by Hillsong...

If the stars were made to worship so will I

If the mountains bow in reverence so will I

If the oceans roar Your greatness so will I

For if everything exists to lift You high so will I

If the wind goes where You send it so will I

If the rocks cry out in silence so will I

If the sum of all our praises still falls shy

Then we’ll sing again a hundred billion times

He made every.single.living.organism. and we haven't even discovered them all! 

 

I am so glad that Gigi, Pops, Jody and Owen joined in this crazy little adventure of ours. I love watching my kids grow up with grandparents and they LOVE LOVE LOVE when their big cousin is around. And if that wasn't enough, the treated everyone to the Behind the Seas Tour which was awesome!

We got to learn all how the aquarium operates, how many gallons of water they use, and how to make an "instant ocean". We got to see where they examine sick animals, store food, feed fish and, you know... HANG OUT WITH A WHALE SHARK. 

I was tempted to fork over the $350 it takes to swim with this beauty, but we also needed the gas money to get back to College Station. 

This was seriously so cool - every one of us was impressed (even if Pops doesn't look like it). 

We wound our way through the amazing Ocean Voyager and had to squeeze in an underwater selfie. 

And then.... 

Radley was trying to figure out how we could take her home. 

We've been to quite a few aquariums in our decade of parenting (plus pre-parenting days) and this was by far our favorite. If you are within driving distance of Atlanta, then put this on your list of things to do! Every single one of us loved it! Getting there as the doors opened was key, we were able to walk through the entire aquarium at an easy pace and be done just in time for a late lunch. 

We headed back to the hotel through Centennial Park and had plenty of the day ahead of us to check off a few more items on our list. 

We took the kids to Jimmy Carter's Presidential Library and he's my new favorite human. I'm sure he didn't do everything right, but these libraries really know how to sell a person and I just want to put him and Rosalyn in my pocket. 

Then we made our way back to Centennial Park to let the kids play in the "splash pad" before dinner. Jody, Gigi and Pops rested up and I took a quick nap in Ryan's lap while all of the children ran around like fools acting as if this were the first time they had every seen water from a fountain. 

It was a delight!

We ended the day with another amazing meal surrounded by amazing family pinching ourselves for this incredible life. 

New Year + Old Friends = Real Fun!

New Year's Eve has become one of my most favorite days of the year -  reflecting on the year we are leaving behind mixed with thoughts of what lies ahead. 2018 wanted to make sure that it was a year to remember; showing off with one of the most beautiful sunsets I've seen. My social media was filled with this same sky from different points of view and that made me stop and think about how connected each of us are ... we sometimes just see life from different angles. 

Jen and I have started trading off NYE hosting duties and I highly recommend you do the same. We have a collection of decorations that gets added to each year and pass the tub back and forth. She's a rock star hostess that makes you feel so welcome and at home so the night was sure to be filled with fun.  

I "forced" Radley to wear "nice" clothes for the party but brought some back-ups knowing that he would want to run around and play. He couldn't change until we got a family pic so he insisted we snap this as soon as Ryan walked in from work.

The evening included lots of kids running around having an epic nerf gun battle, the men enjoying the Aggie football game outside and the women gathered around the food, trading stories and sharing laughs. We were so glad that Owen and Jody got to ring in 2019 with us again, too!

Please note the scattered nerf bullets, gymnastics mat turned barricade, and bright red bare feet from a night of jumping on the trampoline, in pretty cold weather (for Texas)... basically heaven for them!

(Please also note there is no picture of just the boys, because.... #boys).

I hope that 2019 brings you evenings gathered around a table, in the company of friends that are your family, listening to kids play, trading stories, sharing laughs,  and looking forward to all the good that a new year brings!

Happy 2019 - I think she's going to be good to us!

It's CHRISTMAS....

Twas Christmas morning, we actually slept late

Until 6am at least (there was no debate)

When three little ones ran in our room with cheer

WAKE UP WAKE UP - Christmas is here! 

We rubbed our eyes put a smile on our face

Then all five paused for a moment of grace

Thank you, dear Jesus, for a year filled with love

For kindness and health and the gifts from above

Emmy lead us all in a prayer 

and in my opinion, that was Christmas, right there

Sweet words in her precious little voice

Asking us all to reflect and in Him rejoice

But alas, that Jolly St. Nick

 Had a few more items in his bag full of tricks

Two shiny bikes painted just as a requested

And a Playstation 4 made the day extra festive

But he wasn't done with surprises there was a little more

Some scratch offs, a robot and beef jerky was in store

Then a phone call was made to Gigi and Pops

"GET OVER HERE NOW AND DON'T MAKE ANY STOPS"

Breakfast was served, my favorite each year

Rolls and bacon make us all grin from ear to ear

Then the annual gift sorting began

All you type-As surely understand

We have order to our chaos, or so it would seem

We like to take our time to enjoy each and everything

Like fancy new socks that were chosen by Rad

And can only be FULLY appreciated by a super cool Dad 

While the presents were opened and everyone said thanks

I made sure to snap a few pictures of ME for the photo bank

These four humans are the only gifts I need

I can do without the wants, wears or read

As usual, my favorite part of the day

Were all the hugs given out along the way

A hug for a dress, a hug for a mask

A hug for that special gift that I was afraid to ask

A hug just because is the best hug of all

Better than a hug for a game or a doll

All the new stuff is awesome

That I won't deny

But the real joy is what matters 

And brings a tear to my eye

The moments in between that aren't posed or rehearsed

Are the moments I will always recall first

And the ones I don't capture behind some giant lens

Usually bring me the happiest grin

Each year we get older and much wiser, too

We stop and enjoy instead of having a "to do"

We hug and we laugh and if we're lucky enough

We recognize all the things that make up the "good stuff"

Like laughing with cousins and enjoying new toys

And filling the streets with a joyful noise

All the packages piled under that tree

Aren't the only gifts for you and for me

It's not the ribbons or sparkly bows

That make a difference, that much we know

It's time spent with family and our wonderful friends

That fill the day with joy from beginning to end

May your Christmas be merry and your New Year be bright

And may 2019 be filled with blessings you count each and every night!!