Happy Tuesday, y'all! Today I'm linking up with Andrea at Momfessionals for her super fun Show and Tell series. I have to be honest, I'm such a lazy blogger these days that all these prompts are making me happy. Today is all about how we receive LOVE but I'm gonna go one step further and talk about how I show love, too.
If you're familiar with the Five Love Languages then you will understand what I mean when I say my love language is Acts of Service. From 5lovelanguages.com:
Acts of Service
Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an "Acts of Service" person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: "Let me do that for you." Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don't matter. Finding ways to serve speaks volumes to the recipient of these acts.
Y'all. I mean this in the best way, but it means more to me when Ryan gets out of bed, walks around our bed, and turns off my lamp (THAT IS LITERALLY NEXT TO ME) (#dontjudge) than the time I was in NYC for my birthday, pregnant with Emersyn and he had flowers waiting for me in my room and a maternity pillow delivered so I could sleep. So, yes - I'm crazy, but I like what I like.
(Don't get me wrong - I was ECSTATIC about the thoughtfulness - but I maybe also called and said, "HOW MUCH DID THIS COST?!" But totally happy and smitten with his gesture.)
There is just something about the feeling of being cared for that makes me feel loved. Nothing makes me happier than an empty dishwasher, packed lunches, and clean laundry when I walk in from a long day of work. Y'all. I mean, let's just say that the odds are ever in his favor on days like that. (Sorry, Mom).
For the other record, Ryan's Love Language order is as follows**....
1. Words of Affirmation
2. Physical Touch
3. Quality Time
4. Receiving Gifts
5. Acts of Service
**this is by memory
And doesn't it usually work out that way? And on top of all that - I show love just as I like to receive it... with acts of service. For Ryan, for the kids, for my friends... I find myself being so excited to DO SOMETHING for someone and I get a little disappointed that my 8 year old isn't jumping for joy that I folded his laundry. HA! I also have to catch myself and remember that Ryan receives love differently so I need to be intentional with my actions.
So if you're anything like me and need some help on how to show love like your spouse needs, here are some ideas...
Words of Affirmation...
1. Leave love notes - This can be on the bathroom mirror, scraps of paper, post-its inside his portfolio...ANYTHING. A few years ago I bought these 150 Love Notes from Sugarboo & Co. and tear out a little note from time to time. He notices and it really brightens his day.
2. Share fun love stories on his FB wall - I love leaving links on Ryan's FB wall... even if he doesn't check it as regularly as I do. It lets him know I'm thinking about him and
3. Random Text Messages (or even better BITMOJIS) - Again, super simple and FREE. Just send him something in the middle of the day.
4. Pray for him - One of my goals this month is to start a better prayer life WITH Ryan, but it's also important that I have a great prayer life FOR Ryan. Let God's words guide you in affirming your spouse. On days when he needs them most, I've just googled "Prayers for my husband" and discovered some great resources.
5. Compliment him - And don't be shy...maybe even do this IN FRONT of people. Especially those kiddos.
Acts of Service...
1. Make his favorite dinner - Believe me, he will notice. And you will enjoy the effort once you see how happy he is!
2. Clean out his car - Maybe even let him take a nap on a Saturday and wake up to a sparkling clean ride.
3. Mow the yard (unless he's totally particular about it) - True story. I mowed the yard 6 weeks postpartum once and his reaction was less than ideal. But he quickly apologized and now I mow the yard more than him. And you know what? He appreciates it so much.
4. Plan a weekend for him and his buddies - Or even a golf outing...something that shows him you understand he may need some time away, too.
5. Make a honey-do list - And then YOU check off the items. Seriously, how fun would it be to hand over a list that is already crossed off? This would give you even more....
1. Let him pick the movie - At the theater or at home. And then sit real close to him while you watch.
2. Exercise together - This may seem intimidating, but I love doing little "Pinterest workouts" with Ryan. A little healthy competition is good.
3. Go for a round of golf (even if you just sit in the golf cart)
4. Set up weekly meetings with him - Go over the schedule, budget, life, kiddos, dreams and goals. And then maybe plan in some time where you just sit next to each other and enjoy the silence.
5. Do a scavenger hunt - And make the ending be a night away in a local hotel with just you two.
1. Hold his hand in public - And you be the one that initiates it. Every time. All stinking day.
2. Rub his feet - Or his neck or his back.
3. Kiss him good morning - Seriously, this one little gesture seems insignificant, but it is so darn meaningful.
4. Kiss him good night - See above.
5. Use your imagination ;)
1. Year of Dates - One of my favorite gifts I've given to Ryan was our Year of Dates. I'll be honest and say the surprise in his work schedule last year messed up our plans, but the effort behind the gift was felt by him.
2. Get the kids involved - Let them paint portraits of Daddy, or pick out ANYTHING they want him to have. And definitely let them wrap and make/sign the card.
3. Frame something meaningful to him - Wedding invitation, letter from a parent, stationery. I framed Ryan's grandpa's letterhead from their family insurance company one year and it's still one of his favorite gifts.
4. Coupons to watch his favorite games - and not complain about it
5. Take the kids out of the house for the weekend - So he can get HIS to do list done. Think about what a dream that would be for you... a weekend where you don't have to worry about breakfast, or naps or wiping anyone's nose/hiney. He'd be just as thrilled as you!!
So there you have it. Easy ideas to speak their language of love. Anything missing from this list? What would you add?
And if you are looking to win someone's heart, then you are in the right place! I am doing a fantastic giveaway with my friends Holly and Shelly! We are giving away a Hug in a Mug that includes a fabulous gift card to Starbucks so you can share some hugs (because let's be honest, coffee is basically a giant hug) with someone you love!