Will you pray with me...

I have a prayer request today that is dear to my heart. One of my first friends (ever) has been fighting the battle of his life for the past nine years. His wife shared this news with our HS class this week:

After 9 years of battling, Bubba was told yesterday that his tumors have grown, and that the doctor didn't think he should do any more treatment. Unfortunately I was not by his side when he got this news, but his wonderful parents were.

Bubba is a fighter, and is my hero! He has done everything for our family, and I am forever grateful! He told the doctor he could not come home, and tell me this without trying something else. There is one other chemo that his body has not seen, that he will be trying. We then will be going back in November for results, unless needed to go sooner. The oncologist fills like the reason he is so tired is because where the tumors are pressing, and it has also gone into his cerebral fluid.

He has suffered so much these last 2 months, and it gets to a point where it is more about quality, not quantity of life.

We are putting all of our faith in The Lord, and relying on the power of prayer to give Bubba the strength to win the battle! Let the oncologist be in awe of His glorious hand, when Bubba is healed!

This text is very hard to send, we debated what we needed to tell all of you because Bubba does not want people to think he is giving up. We agreed we needed to tell everything, because right now, prayer is what is going to get us through this! We have one of the best groups of family, and friends out there, that can share this news, and get the prayer chains going!

Just please know, this is a very difficult time for us, and I'm doing my best to stay strong around the kids. It would be best if I didn't talk about it around them, because I don't want to worry them. I talked to Jordan a little last night, and he sent a text out to friends to pray for his dad too.

My request is simple - pray for strength. Pray for courage. Pray for peace. Please simply pray.

Our high school motto is three simple words: Rockets Never Quit. And Bubba (Roy) lives this credo. He has never quit - fighting, praying, even working throughout his illness. He supports his family through all of the obstacles that life has brought to him. He never quits smiling, loving, encouraging and praying. 

And we never quit - hoping, supporting and asking for a miracle. 

Our class is one of those crazy mysteries that even we can't quite figure out. We are small town through and through and though years and miles separate us, we are still connected. And one of our own needs us. 

Bubba is a great man and needs all the prayers that we can offer. This news shakes us, but our fear pales in comparison to the mighty hand of God. I ask that you lift Bubba and his family up in prayer. 

Move mountains with your faith. 

Because Rockets Never Quit. 

Brave...

We have lots of prayers for our children. 

To love and know Jesus.

To be kind to others.

To always support their siblings.

To give generously.

To love freely.

To accept others. 

To learn.

To be brave. 

All of equal importance, all for different reasons, all things that I pray for regularly. 

But being brave has been on my heart so much recently, especially for my girls. I don't know why, but I do know that for them to be courageous and strong is important to me. I want them to know that they can do anything. I want them to be confident in their hopes and dreams. I want them to conquer their fears and come out stronger on the other side. 

And even in their tiny tot years, I have seen glimpses of that this summer. I have seen them grow braver and stronger and more confident. In their words, in their actions, in small and big ways. Whether it's just putting their face in the water, petting a new dog, swimming to Mom and Dad, sleeping through a storm... these are their fears at this moment in their lives. 

And those fears will disappear to make room for new and different fears. But being brave will let them overcome and conquer those fears. Being brave, living with confidence, having the support of their siblings will let them come out stronger on the other side. 

And when that happens, when they are brave... something even more amazing happens... they light up with pride and accomplishment and my heart soars right along with theirs. 

So I will keep praying for them to be brave and I will keep praising the moments when they are!

Hot and cold...

Hot and cold. 

That's exactly how I feel at this moment. 

Meaning - I can't decide how I feel. 

You see, in 2 days I leave for a 7-day work trip to Doha, Qatar. 8,036 miles away from home.

And I am so excited. (Hot)

But I am so nervous to leave for that many days. (Cold)

I can't wait to experience the culture that will surround me. (Hot)

I am nervous about doing/saying something wrong. (Cold)

A week from today I will be in the dessert, driving through sand dunes, and potentially riding a camel. (Hot)

My house was covered in ice this morning. (Cold)

I feel totally prepped. I have daily activities planned out for the kids (mine) while I'm gone. My wardrobe is totally ME appropriate, and I'm pumped to get one more stamp on my passport. (Hot)

I may lose my mind this week. (Cold)

So friends, if you think about... say a little prayer for me, the kids, Ryan, my momma (who is watching the kiddos while I'm gone and Ryan is at work), and all of us traveling Aggies. I can't wait to share everything with you when I return!

Happy Birthday...

Yesterday was Lola's birthday. Ryan and I talk a lot about how to make sure our kids know Lola - not just know "of" her, but how we can help them know who she was to him and to our family. We decided that honoring her birthday could be a simple gesture of the kids releasing a balloon to send to her in heaven.

When we got home from school and Ryan had three balloons waiting along with a single black piece of cardstock and chalk for the kids to send a note to Lola. We talked about what their notes could say and how happy Lola was to celebrate her special day with Jesus. 

Radley remembers Lola but let us know that he was sad because he couldn't quite remember what she looked like without seeing a picture. We explained to Emmy that Lola was Ryan's mommy just like GiGi is my mommy and how much she loved them both as well as Landry.

Emmy decided she just wanted to put Lola's name on her card. 

Radley was determined to make his {perfect}. He kept erasing and redrawing even tearing up at one point because he just couldn't "get it right". Radley brought the best out of Fely - she lit up when she was around him. I loved how much she became more involved and present in our lives once he arrived. She would play for hours if that's what he wanted and he loved the time they spent together. 

We tied their notes on to the ends of the balloons (we did suffer a helium casualty when Emmy let her balloon go inside and it popped) and sang happy birthday before letting them go.

 And then we watched them climb in the sky "all the way to heaven".

Radley couldn't wait for her to see his note and fell asleep asking me if I thought it made it to Lola yet.

Ryan, as he always does, tried to be strong but you could see the sadness and feel his heartache. I am so proud of what a faithful and honorable son he is. 

Happy birthday, Lola. We miss you.

Sleep...

Every night after the kids have been asleep I walk back into their rooms for one more peek. I give them each a kiss and tell them my dreams for them and say a prayer for their health and happiness. 

And every night I laugh at how DIFFERENT they each are and how much the way in which they sleep mimics their sweet personalities.

Radley:

ALWAYS covered up. 

Wrapped in his blankets and loveys - He offers the most hugs and kisses out of the 3 so it's fitting to me that he hugs and holds on to everything in his bed. 

Asleep on the very edge - just like everything he does. Pushing the boundaries to explore an discover more. Always learning always asking questions, always ready to "fall out of bed" and get started. 

He wakes up asking questions. 

Emersyn:

No blankets. I try to cover her up and she immediately kicks them off. 

Spread eagle in bed - making her tiny body take up as much space as possible. Just like when she is awake - her tiny presence consumes everyone around her. She is a mess. She sleeps hard. Content in exactly what she is doing at the moment and okay to sit and do the same thing for hours. She wants everything HER way so I never find her in the same position twice. 

Landry:

The baby. 

Literally hiding from the chaotic world around her. 

:)

May their dreams be forever sweet and may I never forget to kiss them to sleep. 

Prayers and gratitude...

Today I am filled with endless prayers for sweet friends and running over with gratitude for the small wonderous miracles that I take for granted each and every day.

EVERY.SINGLE.DAY. I take things for granted. And while this is human nature and not for lacking of wanting to be thankful, I should be better at saying "Thank you" out loud. In front of my kids, my husband, my parents, my friends, etc.

So what prompted me to go into this long-winded rant of thanks? This...

This sweet boy is Cason Howey. He is the baby boy of one of my pledge sisters, Kim. He is less than one month old and has endured open heart surgery, pneumonia, intubation, infections, and other medical ailments that most of us won't sustain in a lifetime. Cason was born with HLHS which is a heart condition. Luckily, his doctors knew this before he was born - which is a miracle in itself. Because of this early detection, Kim and her family could "prepare" for the road ahead.

And while Cason has endured more than we can imagine, he has also probably caused more people to pray and call on God than most of us in a lifetime - and that is a miracle, too. Bringing people to be stronger in faith, no matter the cause, is always a victory. So today, friends, I ask that you pray for Cason. For his momma and daddy and big brother, Coyt. For his doctors. For his strength and courage.

Each life no matter how big or small is a miracle. A divine plan written by One than knows more than we can even try to imagine. I sit here feeling MAK move and squirm and I am grateful for this miracle. I am hopeful that MAK is healthy and perfectly put together, but I am also very aware that this is not always the case.

Kim - you have prayer warriors on your side. People you have and haven't met pulling for you and for Cason. We lift you all up to Him and place you in His tender care.

In the flame, sweet friend.

Stages...

We move through stages in our lives from beginning to end. This stage of life for us is all sorts of things. 

Fun. Crazy. Boring. Exciting. Happy. Tiring. Changing. Predictable. UNpredictable. Fullfilling. Perfect. 

Emersyn is perhaps at one of my MOST favorite stages for a little tiny human. The stage where she can sit up, play, laugh, interact, giggle, and NOT MOVE. :)

Radley is in the stage, admittedly, that sometimes drives me crazy. The EVERYTHING is silly stage. The I can make a game out of anything stage. The I don't want to listen stage. The I want to do it MY way stage. The I'm a little boy and everything is rough tough real stuff stage. 

But, he's also in a stage that I wouldn't miss for all the tea in China (I feel like Moms say stuff like that). The stage where he is a ball of energy. The stage where he finds comfort in Momma and Dad. The stage where he tries so hard to do something and looks to us for encouragement. The stage where the first thing he does in the morning is go give "sister" kisses. The stage of being potty trained! The stage of just loving life to the fullest. 

 Yes, life is just full of stages. It's a new stage for Ryan and I (who clearly are never in pictures anymore). A stage of balancing schedules. A stage of seeing each other from 6am-8am and 8:30pm-bedtime. A stage of catching kisses in the hall. A stage of date nights. A stage of learning. A stage of sharing. A stage of not buying ourselves new clothes so Emmy and Radley can have it all. A stage of learning about stages... 

...like teething. And walking. And running. And talking. And writing. And crying. And just enjoying each of these moments that pass us by in an instant. 

Of seeing Emmy in the same shirt that I wore when I was a baby. 

Of watching my kids grow up together. Happy. Healthy. 

Yes, friends. Life is full of stages. Stages that come and go and ones that we must hold on to. In our memories and in our hearts. So that when all the stages pass us by, we have something that stays with us forever. 

I ask that you each take a moment to say a prayer for Ryan and his mom, Fely. The surgery prior to Christmas exposed two more tumors on her liver which means that the cancer has spread. She is currently deciding on treatment options and we are here to support her in this new stage of her life. We feel your support and love and she will, too. For right now, she is holding on to the stage of being a "Lola" with grace and with love for these precious babies that bring her joy and a reason to fight for that next stage to come.

A big day...

Prayers are appreciated today as Ryan's mom is having surgery to remove a tumor near her pancreas. As we wait, this verse will be our support today...

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:6-7