Giving grace...

This was the moment. The exact moment that my life changed for the better. Forever. This 6lb 12oz tiny human was given to me and something clicked. I would never be the same and I didn't want to be. 

I wanted to be better. And kinder. And smarter. And more loving. And more godly. And full of patience. All for him. 

And one glance at this picture brings me right back to that moment. The moment I finally understood how much MY own Momma loved me. The moment when I knew that miracles do exist. That God is more powerful than I can try to comprehend.

And the moment that I knew I would die trying to make his life as wonderful as he deserved. 

And for the past five (and a half!) years - I have tried. I have sometimes failed and when that happens he (Radley) has given me grace. 

The thing about a first-born is that we are learning how to be parents as they are learning how to be humans. All my moments of ugly - you know the overreactions, the yelling, the crazy momisms, and even my own adult tantrums... Radley has chosen to just love me through them. 

Isn't that amazing?

I wonder how much harder it would be to be a parent if he put the same amount of expectations on me as I on him? Instead he gives freely of his tenderness, his hugs and kisses, and his loyal love. Instead he looks at me when I am "ugly" and sees beauty. 

I talk to him about grace a lot and how freely Ryan and I offer that to him and his sisters - but really... it is them who offer it us. Such grace and patience as we navigate this job for which there is no description, no training. Some days I feel like I am drowning and that is when his grace shows the most. 

That tiny bundle has turned into an amazing. smart, loving, caring, tender, patient, giving little boy. A little boy that graduated PreK tonight. (which served as the trigger for this sappy post). As the pictures beamed across the screen on the slide show - I not only watched as his chubby little face turned into that of a growing boy, I reflected on where we were as a family in those moments, too. 

I have watched him create a passion for learning, a desire to succeed, and a will to give his heart to others. I am so proud of who he is right in this moment and I am excited to see who will continue to become. 

But mostly, I am thankful that I was chosen to be his mom. And I am grateful for all the grace he has given me as I am learning right along side him.