I'll love you forever...

There is a famous children's book that everyone gets as a gift at their first baby shower - the story of a mom that rocks her baby back and forth and back and forth and back and forth and says...

I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living 
My baby you'll be

And then the baby grows up and the mom straight up breaks into the GROWN MAN's house and PICKS HIM UP in his SLEEP and rocks him back and forth and back and forth and back and forth repeating the lines above. (HOW does he not wake up? HOW does his wife not wake up? WHY would this ever be a thing?)

It's supposed to be a tear jerker and I get the sentiment because the son ends up coming back home and rocking the mom back and forth and back and forth and back and forth, but y'all.

The story is creepy.

But I have to admit, I kind of like the idea of sneaking into my children's' homes. I've recently decided that I am going to be that creeper mom with a little spin on my breaking and entering. I'm going to climb into my kids windows and...

lose their remote controls
open granola bars and leave the wrappers wedged in the couch
take all of their kids' socks apart and lose one of each pair
brush my teeth and leave dried toothpaste spit in the sink
blow my nose in tissues and just leave them on the ground
use the restroom and forget to flush
use the good scissors to cut pipe cleaners
get out every craft supply and forget how to put them away
leave sticky residue on the back of the dining room chairs
unfold every blanket and rearrange every pillow on their couch

And before I sneak back out the window, I'll make sure to leave a note...

I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
You're crazy momma I'll be

Now THAT is a story.