For all those people who think my house is always clean...

Think again! We have been living around boxes for the past three weeks or so and really couldn't take it any more. 

Ryan added some extra flooring to our attic and we got to work. 

Our house has seriously looked like this for three weeks. 

With a little of this drizzled about for good measure. 

We had even invaded our guest bedroom. 

But with the help of our sweet family, the house is back in order! Yahoo! After this weekend we were all exhausted... you know, that good kind-of "I got everything accomplished I wanted to" feeling? That was us! 

And while part of me is teasing about this mess, most of me is glad that we have it under control. It had become a constant reminder of Fely. Every morning we woke up to see everything that she cared about in our house. So out of place. It didn't belong...doesn't belong. 

It belongs in her house. With her to take care of it. I still can't believe it sometimes. Last week I was ordering pictures of the kids and sat in my office and cried because I always ordered three sets (me, GiGi and Lola) and it made it so real. My kids weren't going to have her around, Ryan lost his mom and now we are left to pick up the pieces at the same time preserving her memory. 

Radley knew exactly who everything belonged to and remembered seeing it in her house. Oh how I wish Emmy would be able to remember her, too. But that is up to us now...and I pray that I do a good job of making sure she knows her Lola without ever meeting her. 

We did find some fun things, like some head shots she had made in her 20s, some much too expensive crystal figurines and every shopping bag she had ever gotten...ever. And every Christmas decoration that was every invented.... well only the nice kind that doesn't match a thing in my house because I am much more "country" than I like to admit. 

I look forward to making her things our "things" -- weaving them into our lives to make her memory last. 

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