Pennies...

A friend of mine shared this story on Facebook earlier this week. And it has basically not left my mind since.

If you don't want to read the entire story, I will summarize. It's a post about a mom that was given a mason jar of pennies for her child's baptism. 936 pennies to be exact. The exact number of weeks that we are given to raise our children before "adulthood". The instructions explained that parents need to remove a penny each week before the child's 18th birthday. Makes 18 years seem like a flash, right?

936. 9-3-6.

I started thinking about the remaining pennies in my jar for each kid.

Landry has 797 remaining.
Emersyn has 705 remaining.
Radley has 561 remaining pennies.

That's it y'all.

And what have I done with the first 375 weeks?

The post is mean to inspire and remind us what a gift we are given in parenthood. Remind us of the honor it is raise these creatures into adulthood. And honestly, the immense responsibility we have to prepare them for the path ahead.

All in a mason jar worth of pennies.

I thought about those pennies in the past two days, when I was tired and needed my 7-year-old to read a bit faster. When I took the 2-year-old to the bathroom for the 16th time in 2 hours it seems. When the 4-year-old decided that all my shoes needed to be rearranged in princess order. And at bedtime, when everyone seems to lose the ability and cognitive skills necessary to follow instructions and it becomes chaos.

But I also thought about those pennies when I saw the 7-year-old learn a new word. Or that sweet toddler looked at me and said "I did it, Mommy!" (even though she's been potty trained for 7 months). And when that sweet 4-year-old came running in to tell me how great my shoes looked. I especially thought about those pennies, when this tired momma was putting them to bed, ready to go to bed myself and instead, singing those kids each their songs, holding them "one more time", or laying down for "just one minute"...

Because, you see, I only have 797/705/561 pennies left. And when you think about how much longer they will actually want me to hold them, sing to them, and lay there for a while.... well that number may be cut in half.

I don't know about you, but the value of the penny just increased in my house. 

How am I spending these pennies? What am I using this allowance on? Am I wasting them away on rushed moments and impatience? Am I sitting still enough to enjoy them? Am I relying on God to guide me? Am I preparing them for a life of salvation?

It's safe to say that some days are better spent than others. Some weeks, are made up of days where I really did get it "right." I paused before getting angry; I laughed before getting annoyed; I welcomed the silly; encouraged the mess; simply stood still and even said yes.

Some weeks, well, some weeks that penny would have been better spent had I thrown it in a fountain.

But, that's okay. It has to be, because we don't get those pennies back. What we do get is 797/705/561 more. And we get 1000s of moments in between. Moments that are filled with goodness and growth, laughter and love, and even patience and pain.

My jars will one day be empty, but, another jar will be filled with the investment that we made in them. Through our actions and words, through our moments, good and bad and filled with His grace... and when I really think about it, it's that second jar that matters. Because those pennies will become who they become.

So yes, we get 936 pennies... but they aren't mine to spend at all. They are mine to invest in. To teach. To love. To care for. To hold and comfort. To guide. To pray for and to pray with.

I won't always get it right. I won't always do it well. But I will always be grateful for those 936.