The middle...

 In a few short months Radley will begin the sacred right of passage of middle school. I wasn't even a tiny bit prepared for how absolutely unprepared I am for this change. A few weeks ago he had "orchestra open house" so he could choose which instrument he would play. And y'all. 

I CRIED DURING A PROMO VIDEO FOR THE POSITIVE IMPACT CLASSICAL MUSIC HAS ON CHILDREN.

I mean. I know I'm a cried, but come. on.

But here we were... in this giant room filled with instruments and big kids and I just kept looking at my own big kid and was in complete denial of what this means. 

They just keep growing up!

Why is that even an option? Shouldn't they be forced to stop? I am 1000% positive that I lived at home for 1937 years (at least that's how long it felt for me to "grow up") (and not in some negative way, just in a "time has actually stopped and I will be 14 forever kind of way).

And here my kids are being full grown adults at the age of 10. 

Just WHY!?!?

And honestly, these tears I felt hot on my cheeks were more happy than sad. More proud than disheartened. Because I got to see him in his element. Surrounded by new things and new people and so eager to learn and make new friends. So confident to try something new. So ecstatic to experience what comes next. 

And then I cried some more, because in all of the mess and madness, I was just grateful that somewhere in my own fit throwing and losing it, I had shown him that he is wonderfully made, incredibly loved and absolutely capable of anything he wants to do. 

And then I cried again.