1. Drinking and nursing
2. Leaving the kids in the car...even for a quick errand
3. Leaving a baby unattended in a bathtub...even for a quick second
4. Talking about how much better we are at being mommy's than other people (which is something that I think we do too much)
5. Calling your kids names
6. Calling Daddy names (sorry, babe)
And the list goes on....
Today, I am going to confess to one of the biggest (I think) Mommy no-nos...
7. Comparing kids.
I don't know why we do it...our heads tell us "every kid is different" "they will do _____ on their own time" "let them be", etc... but Mom's still do it. Or I do. And I have tried so hard at not comparing Emmy to Radley. But lately, it's been a battle.
There are a million things that she does "different" from Radley: she rolled over before him, crawled before him, waved before him, blew kisses before him, eats better than him at this age, is much more a self soother than him, etc...
In those instances I celebrated her milestones and thought nothing of what he didn't do because he had already mastered those things and so much more. But, for the past two weeks I could only focus on one thing that she doesn't do quite like him: talk.
If you haven't been around Radley or figured out from my Tiny Tales, he is a talker. And not only is he a talker, but his vocabulary, ability to reason, comprehension, etc... is pretty ridiculous. He identified letters, his name, numbers, colors, objects, etc... before most kids his age do. He doesn't only speak when spoken to but really nonstop (which is so going to annoy his teachers one day). He memorized books by age 2, and retains information that I forget.
And all because that is who HE is. Nothing I did or didn't do. Nothing Ryan did or didn't do. It's just him. And I am proud of him but don't for a second think that he is better than anybody else.
And Emmy, sweet Emmy. Is gentle. And sweet. And loving. And cuddly. And dainty. And adventurous. And tender. And TOUGH. And she happens to be quiet. She says hi, bye, momma, dada (and GiGi claims others words) and blows kisses, plays peek a boo, etc...
But in my head she needed to do more. Because Radley did. And now that he's almost 4 it's hard to remember a time when he didn't talk.
I focused on what she couldn't do instead of embracing what she does. And most importantly, what she does is complete our family. Make me smile. Enlarges my heart.
Again, these are all things that I know...but I couldn't just stop the worry or concern. I knew it was silly but I couldn't.
So I said a quick prayer and you know what? It was answered! In 25 minutes!!!
We were home today because Emmy just didn't seem like herself, grouchy, a little feverish, etc... So I took her into to see our pediatrician and while we were there, asked about the talking thing. She was sweet to listen to my crazy babble and said not to worry. "Most kids don't talk before 1... see what she's doing at 15-16 months; yadda yadda."
It gave me comfort, but well, not really.
As we were leaving I ran into a friend from Junior League who was there getting her sweet 2 month old, Chloe, her well check and shots. I noticed; however, that Chloe was no where to be seen. Chrissie let me know that her bestie was in town and being a good friend by watching Chloe get shots. "She's a speech pathologist so she is used to being around kids."
My heart stopped. Ok, God, I hear you.
As her friend emerged with a tearful Chloe and introductions were made, I let them know that God works in mysterious ways. As they looked questioningly at me, I shared my "worries". Her sweet friend, too, indulges my mommy crazies and listens to my concerns.
Does she babble? Yes.
Does she blow raspberries? Yes.
Does she wave? Yes.
Yes. Yes. Yes.
Is she walking? No, but on the verge.
Ah, she says, that's it. We've found that when kids are trying to walk, they stop talking. One thing at a time, Momma. Wait until she's 15-16 months and then see.
Thank you, God. For knowing all the "mommy no-nos" and loving us anyway. Thank you for never comparing US to anyone. Thank you for your tender answers and loving guidance.
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer in petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God."
Philippians 4:6
That's great that you are able to see your children as unique individuals. I love all the little things that make my kids different from each other. Comparing them to each other would create such a slippery slope and set in them the idea that we don't fully respect, accept, appreciate and love their uniqueness and individuality. I'm HUGE in to my own space and creating a niche for myself in life so this has been sort of a natural thing for me. Corbin has said though before things like "Oh Heidi is going to love to do sports because she'll have Gavin to follow after." And I'm like "WHAT? say what?" First of all, Gavin may not want to pursue sports but let's assume HE does, is that really truly a reason for HER to too? Anyhow, I can agree with you on this, mamma.
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