I know, I know.
The Elf on the Shelf craze is everywhere.
And.
The ANTI Elf on the Shelf craze is everywhere.
So proceed or don't, but today, I offer you...
Hate is a pretty strong word. So I don't actually hate Alfie, our elf. What I dislike veryveryveryveryveryveryveryvery much is what this whole Elf on the Shelf thing has forced me to do.
For example.
1. It means that I gave into peer pressure. Yep. I didn't want to be left out of the "super-mom" club. So we got an elf. I also didn't want my kid to miss out on anything that every other one of his friends gets to have. SMH.
2. It has caused me to move at speeds I don't think any normal human should move at in the morning. This is really because we sometimes forget to move Alfie. And by we, I clearly mean Ryan, because when that happens it's his fault. So what ends up happening is one of us is the distractor and one of us is the mover.
3. It means someone else came up with a huge marketable scam idea and is now a millionaire. Yep. What a freaking genius. And it wasn't me. Or anyone I know. And holy cow how EASY. "Hi Moms....you don't want your kids to miss out on anything amazing, right? What? You're too busy to deal with one more thing. Oh, your poor children. Call CPS right now." Basically refer back to #1 above.
4. Those moms. (Be prepared to pee your pants laughing by clicking that link).
5. Late night panic attacks. Yep. Now you aren't just scared awake by that tiny tot staring you in the face in the middle of the night because she wanted to tell you a story. Now you also throw yourself forward because you forgot to move the elf.
6. Elves are everywhere. Seriously. They are all over the place - at other friends' houses, at school, sitting on the stinking shelves at Target. How the heck are we supposed to capture the magic when our children see them everywhere they go?
7. Too much variety. We need to get our stories straight here people. There needs to be some Elf on the Shelf etiquette - where is that chapter in Emily Post?
- No elf arrives before December 1
- Elves only visit Dec 1 - 24
- No elf brings gifts valued more than $3
- Etc...
8. Buddy said it best.
It's true - the thing I look forward to the least is disappointing the kids about one more thing. I already dread the day they find out about Santa (although I'm a believer, aren't you?) but I really think Radley is going to be devastated when he finds out Alfie isn't magic. We already had a horrible run-in when Uncle Pete came over and was unaware that you are not allowed to touch Alfie. Radley about died and I had to yet again think and move quickly (which becomes more difficult the more babies you have) which ultimately lead to one more lie about a magic pillow. So now we have a small creepy elf that watches over us to tell a big giant overweight man about the kids' behavior with a magic pillow that brings back lost powers.
BUT.
While it is easy to dislike the elf veryveryveryveryvery much. There are two reasons that still win him over for me.
9. It's your elf. Do what you want. We've seen all the blog posts of how to make the Elf fun, or naughty, or more Jesus like.. and the great thing about that is that its YOUR elf. :) Do what you want. Don't do what you want. I think we are a middle of the road family. Sometimes Alfie is just sitting somewhere. Sometimes he brings a small surprise. Sometimes he has played with the kids' toys. He hardly ever makes a mess. We don't really use it as an incentive to be "nice"... because our kids are pretty well-behaved except for the age appropriate incident here or there. And, we should all be "nice" all the time - not just at Christmas.
My favorite thing that we do happens on December 13. Alfie brings down his annual letter and has filled the rest of our advent calendar with slips of paper. These slips each have an activity printed that vary from shopping for dad, to driving around looking at lights to doing our annual food drive.
And, well, the reason why we all secretly love those damn elves...
10. Our kids are worth it.
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