Life after 5...

Every mom knows that "life after 5pm" (or 2pm) (or the moment everyone is awake) can be rough. I'm not afraid to admit that I know this so well that I sometimes wait until 5:30 to pick up the girls because with traffic time I won't get home until 6:00, which leaves me just 2 hours of real parenting before bed.

Judge away.

There is just something about those 3 tiny hours that bring so much chaos that I just want to cry. And drink. And smoke.  (And I don't even smoke!)  The after 5 routine is exhausting... can I get a "Amen!?"

And it has a pattern. A very real pattern of events that you can expect. Allow me (and Disney) to explain....

1. The Pep Talk... that time period where you are in the car headed to pick up your child(ren) and telling yourself that this is the day you are going to ROCK parenthood. Seriously. You will handle every little minor insignificant problem with poise and grace. You won't speak above a whisper. You will craft and dance and play dress up all while making the perfect dinner. You are basically Mary Poppins... 

Via 7generations.com

2. The Pick Up.... the "let's do this moment". You've had the talk, you are ready for whatever sticky fingered, food covered, painted mess awaits you in the toddler room at your daycare. You will not let their bad moods affect your good parenting.  You've.got.this.

Disney / Via tangleddisneyfrozen.tumblr.com

2. The Load Up... The first tiny crack... the moment when someone got in the car in the wrong order, a headband is missing, you put left the art project in the trashcan school (and they noticed), and everyone HAS to fasten their own seatbelt. And you just...

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3. The Car Ride... or the time I like to refer to as Frozen on repeat...seriously. Will this song ever die?

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4. The Pre Dinner Distraction... Also known as the 15 - 25 minutes from car to table. You come in, slip off your shoes, send one kid to do homework, the others to entertain themselves. You take maybe 2 minutes for yourself to change clothes and walk into disaster city. I don't understand how I am surprised by how quickly they can make mess. But I am. Every single time.

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5. The Dinner Struggle... the part where you repeat the same three phrases: eat your food, sit down, quit putting food in your sister's hair. (repeat). Can we please just have one dinner without a struggle? Even when they LOVE the food, I find myself saying - eat. Sit still. Stop. AND, once dinner is finished and you can breathe a sigh of relief, you look at the ground and wonder if you missed this....

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6. Bathtime... Kid 1: Bathtime was play time, relaxing time, fun. We used it to teach him things and loved every part of this night time routine. Kid 2: Much of the same.

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Kid 3: Lucky to get a bath daily (obviously over-rated).  Kid 2 and 3 play together which generally causes me an extra 15 minutes to clean up their mess as if the Beast himself just took a bath for the first time.

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7. Bedtime... FINALLY! I'm exhausted. They don't want to go to sleep because they aren't tired. And I maybe consider investing in one of these...

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But don't worry - I'd always wake them up with true love's kiss the next day! :)