Well, it has officially begun. Mommy guilt has arrived and I need to figure out how to get rid of him. (Him, because men always find a way to make women feel guilty about something... don't ya think?)
MG shows up at the most random times:
1. Dressing Emersyn in crazy cute embroidered outfits and thinking that Radley lived in a Carter's onesie (also cute) for the first year of his life
2. Taking newborn pictures with Sarah and thinking that all we have of Radley is our Sears shots (which I also love)
3. Looking at all the pictures of Radley in the hospital and realizing we took half that amount of Emmy
4. Putting Emmy's baby book together and noticing that hers may already be more full than his (we just knew what to document this time... I'm resisting the urge to add to his)
5. Dropping Radley off at school knowing that Emmy and I are just going to watch movies and run errands all day
6. Looking at all our photo albums with 1000s (no exaggeration) of pics of Rad complete with captions and laughing because I know that I won't keep up with her
... the list could go on and on ...
And then in the same breath, I think... "ARE YOU CRAZY, Katy?!?!" What do I really have to feel guilty about? Are my kids loved? Yes! Are they fed? Yes! Are they incredibly spoiled by all that meet them? YES! YES! YES!!
But I can't stop. Part of me thinks that being Catholic automatically makes me feel guilt... I mean what is confession for? (Just kidding Mom, Dad, etc... ) The other little part of me thinks that my Type A personality of wanting to conquer it all has something to do with it. (May I also add that I love and appreciate my Type A personality... it allows me to be organized, to stay sane and to maintain order and discipline in my somewhat crazy life. Because of a schedule I am able to accomplish tasks that would otherwise seem impossible to do. Okay, I just had to let that out knowing all of you out there that love to point out how organized I am.) And then there is the part of me that is visioning 20 years from now and hearing who got what and who didn't. ALL of me knows it's silly... but MG still creeps in.
How do we stop him? How do we make him realize that he can't win?!? I think whoever figures out that answer should write a book... let me know and I'll help with the project because we'd make millions!
I know that MG will creep in from time to time but I just have to shove him away and proceed (as planned, Ha!) with our lives! BUT...if any of you moms have pointers out there... feel free to leave me a comment and tell me your secrets!
On another note...
Lola is here for a visit...