Last week, I dug deeper. I was intrigued when Emersyn confidently exclaimed, "Mom - I know how to scramble eggs."
Me: Really? That's awesome - how?
Emmy: Well, you get out the little pan and put stuff in it [butter/spray/whole30 compliant stuff] and then grab two eggs from the refridg-a-tate-or, then crack them and walk away for 3 seconds to turn on the coffee. Then you get a fork and mix them up. Then you walk away and pour cereal. And then you mix them more and sometimes add stuff [sausage/veggies/seasoning] and then you hold the pan and then you put them in a bowl.
Me: Wow. You really do know how to make eggs! That's awesome!
She was so proud y'all. She loves that she can "make eggs" and while I am 100% sure she can do all the things that she said, this, for me, was about so much more than making eggs.
What she was saying to me is that she is watching. Not only is she watching, she is remembering what I do; especially when I repeat what I do over and over again.
Every time I hold open a door for a stranger... she is watching.
Every time I say thank you... she is watching.
Every time I help a friend... she is watching.
Every time I take notes in church... she is watching.
Every time I put on make up... she is watching.
Every time I let the person waiting to pull out on a crowded street into traffic... she is watching.
Every time I compliment Landry or Radley for listening... she is watching.
Every time I thank Ryan for the little things he does... she is watching.
So if she is watching all of that, then surely...
Every time I roll my eyes at my darling husband... she is watching.
Every time I don't make time to read to her... she is watching.
Every time I perhaps say something unkind to another person driving a car... she is watching.
Every time I yell... she is watching.
Every time I make an excuse or quit... she is watching.
She is watching. They are watching. They see us. They hear us. More than that, they learn from us. Not from any one big thing that we do, but from every tiny little insignificant repeated action that we take.
They are watching.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the same song keeps popping up on my drive to work, to pick up kids, or randomly at work on Pandora. The day she told me how to cook eggs, the next song that I heard from "Alexa" was this same song...
The chorus resonates with me.
I'd love like not I'm scared
Give when it's not fair
Live life for another
Take time for a brother
Fight for the weak ones
Speak out for freedom
Find faith in the battle
Stand tall but above it all
Fix my eyes on you
I hope that she watches me do all of those things. That she sees me when I pay for a stranger's coffee. When I do something hard and unfair. When I am a voice for the ones that can't speak. That my faith guides me through the next battle. And I hope she understands that standing tall and above it all includes doing the work that He intends us to do. To love others. To rise above the dark and be the light.
Because we are making so much more than eggs. We are shaping the future of our community, our state, our nation while they are watching. The question, then, is what are we letting them see?