Fantasy Talk Show...

Y'all.

I am late posting this for Andrea's link-up, but I couldn't let this topic pass me by.

Why you ask?

Simple.

Because I have actually hosted my fantasy talk show.

It's true. 1000% true.

Circa 1991. (Or whenever I was in the 5th/6th grade).

My friend, Niki, and I never had a boring moment in our lives. We were always coming up with some scheme and this particular day we decided we needed to host a talk show. So, we came up with a tv show name (The KaNiki Show) wrote scripts, created a guest list, and even planned commercials.

My sweet, kind, loving, and clearly patient mom, even recorded it. This footage is absolutely EPIC and if I was a better blogger I would have converted those VHS tapes and uploaded them and left you with a link. Alas, I am not. So you'll have to imagine the show.

I will highlight my favorite moments.

1. Joey McIntyre (played by yours truly - Niki was the show host).

Yep. Hot off a NKOTB tour, Joey made his way to Robinson, wearing custom made jeans which was a normal pair of jeans with NKOTB stickers on them. He was also wearing a NKOTB shirt, jean jacket complete with giant NKOTB buttons. You know the ones...

Sadly Joey didn't perform because the rest of the band was on vacation.

2. Audience Interaction

While Niki was waiting on other guests (i.e., me to change clothes), she took the time to get to know her audience (i.e., her precious mom). This was around the time that koosh balls made their debut...

and she wanted the audience's opinion.

Niki: So what, I mean, what do YOU think this is? What is it used for???

Mrs. Stig: silence

Niki: I know... it's the kind of thing that makes you go, "Hmmmm", right?

Mrs. Stig: Hmmmm, right. 

And basically we still say this today.

3. Paula Adbul

She came on to talk about shooting a video with the cat, maybe? Full of intelligence and wearing I believe a bathing suit with jean shorts. Lots of hair spray, random jewelry and ugly shoes. She DID; however, give a performance to The Way that You Love Me. It looked exactly like this:

I know. This show was basically on fire. And you'd think that all my dreams had come true, but I wasn't finished yet. Because the next week Jenni, my bestie, came over and decided that we also needed a talk show. 

We shared hosting duties this time - the Candy and Candace Guley Show. (These were our alter egos when we were together. Our "favorite" names as first names and our last names combined. Precious.) Y'all - what's even crazier than us re-writing scripts, and coming up with costumes and spending hours and hours on this - is that my momma sat there and recorded it. AGAIN!

She's the best. #motherslove

Now, if we were to produce a highlight reel of Candace and Candy... 

1. Extreme

More than Words was our favorite song at the moment, so we clearly needed a musical performance. Except, there was only one member of the band since I, Candace, was playing host. It should also be noted that we didn't know the actual names of the band members, so we just called him Rob. (This was clearly before Al Gore invented Google). 

Jenni/Rob came out barefoot, hair parted down the middle, my brother's shirt and a tennis racket (clearly the guitar).

I mean. This was the greatest performance of all time. She sat and lip synced every word to that song. And it was glorious. 

2. Commercial Breaks

We really liked pickles so we had to have a pickle commercial. The premise was two friends were hanging out and wanted a snack, so we searched the fridge and found these:

My character was supposed to open the pickles, take a bite, and exclaim, "MMMMM, crunchy, kosher pickles!"

And I did. 

Except the dang pickle juice went down my throat the wrong way and I choked and Jenni could not stop laughing. We did this about 4 times and since this was pre-editing, my mom just sat there and recorded the whole thing. 

(I am honestly DYING laughing as I am typing this. I sooooo wish I had the video.)

(I also just downloaded Paula Abdul to listen to as I write.)

3. Audience Members

Y'all. We performed this in front of a boy. That was one of our potential boyfriends. As in he sat there and watched this. 

#poorguy #neverevenmadeittofirstbase

So there you have it. Childhood at it's finest. Motherhood at it's best. 

Thanks for the fun link-up, Andrea!