40 weeks...

Me and MAK at 40 weeks....

I look/feel... Well, I am still miraculously able to wear all my rings (I just never have them on at the time of taking pics) and my feet are still skinny - so I guess I look pretty good. ;) I am much more belly this week than before but hey, I'm full term. 

Which brings me to how I "feel". I physically feel fine. I can get up and down, walk (took an hour walk this morning at 5am), play with kids, go to Target, etc. Sleeping is still not comfortable due to the hip/pelvic bone, but I "feel" good. 

It's the emotional feeling thing that has me crazy. I am a mixture of nerves, excitement, impatience, drama, sadness, fear, etc... I for the life of me cannot understand how I am still pregnant. :) And I know this sounds silly, but I was TEN whole days early with Emersyn; NINE with Rad. Easy labor, quick delivery, etc... Was it all too good to be true? Maybe. Or maybe Ryan and I were correct when we thought we were only 6 weeks along and the doctor told us 9. OMG... that means I have three more weeks (but then maybe I'd be 10 days early).

To make it "worse" my doctor is on spring break with his family, which means no chance of induction until the 19th or 20th. As I was throwing my pity party this morning, I informed Cindy that I would then claim that I waited 15 days after I was due. Like a good friend, she said ok. 

I also feel like I am disappointing "everyone". Which sounds silly even as I type it or when I say it out loud, but I do. Everyone keeps texting and emailing and facebooking (is that a word) to check on me and MAK, which I completely appreciate, but I feel like I am letting them down when I have no news. 

And ultimately - I'm just scared. Why isn't MAK here? Is something wrong? Will I go into labor? Will I have to be induced? C-section? Dr. Dawson even called to check on me from his ski trip and wanted me to go in yesterday to get the baby checked; he is also surprised that I'm still pregnant. Luckily MAK's heartbeat sounded good (138-163...which I thought was a little varied, but they said it was normal). No contractions and good movement. So. 

We wait. 

I'm craving... a baby. Seriously. There is literally nothing left to do. The car is even packed because if they would have seen any signs of distress yesterday I would have been induced immediately. I am seriously jonesing for this child. 

I am... already on maternity leave. It was all "planned" so perfectly that MAK would arrive the week of Spring Break...like a free week of leave. Ha! I did nothing the past two days. Nails. HobLob. Movies. Naps. That's it. The kids are home with me the rest of the week - maybe that will send me into labor. 

Ryan is... putting up with me as best as he can. 

Kids are... Radley is ready for the baby. He can tell that I am a little stressed so he has been SUPER helpful and sweet and cute. "Don't worry, Mommy, I'll bend down and get that "fer" you." Emersyn is a bit clingy, but also really motherly to her babies. We will see how she reacts. 

MAK is... stubborn. Pretty quiet throughout the day and then at night goes CRAZY! My belly was dancing and jumping all over the place last night. But that's it. No real contractions or anything. This kid better be cute. :)

We are... anxiously awaiting his/her arrival. We would love it if you would pray for MAKs health, my health, my sanity and understanding, and our faith to continue to be in Him.