Digging deep within my soul...

We did our seasonal "clean out the dead plants from the flower pots and replace them with new ones" and for one tiny second, I didn't want to go through with it. 

I looked at all these plants and thought "what's the point?" - they are just going to be neglected and shrivel away in about 4 weeks. This is just a waste of time, effort and money.

And then as the girls started piling up all those lost souls on the table, something really just stirred inside and I swear I heard a whisper that said, "I never give up on you." And I started to think about how many times I've "replanted" myself in His word only to get too busy and distracted and I begin to shrivel, just like these plants. 

How often do I make the time to tend to my relationship with Him? Sure, I read the bible from time to time, we pray nightly with our kids, we go to church, we tithe and volunteer but sometimes I feel like I'm just going through the motions of it all. 

Our prayer life, our scripture reading, our relationship with God is just like these plants. It has to be cared for and tended to; we have to nourish it and feed it and make sure we protect it from the elements that can bring harm. 

We have to surround ourselves with others that do the same. 

But even when we don't - even when I don't - He never says "what's the point?" He just takes out the old and plants the seed all over again. I screw up daily. I'm impatient, irrational, and maybe even set unreasonable expectations. I yell at the kids and my sweet husband. And I sometimes just want to run away. 

And yet He's here, tending the soil, watering the plants and having faith that my roots will grow deep. 

The grace we are given is overwhelming to me. I don't deserve it. I can't always understand it. But I'm always grateful for it. I'm grateful that He never gives up on me. I'm grateful that He is tender. I'm grateful that He nourishes my soul. I'm grateful that He cares for me. I'm grateful that He accepts me. I'm grateful that He was been planted inside of me all those years ago to grow and shape me. 

And I'm grateful that even when I'm at my worst, He sees the beauty within. He simply brushes away the sin. 

Discards it all together.

And starts anew. 

I heard a whisper and it echoed in my heart.